Thankful to be Alive

Life is a precious gift that we have to be thankful for everyday. When you leave your home in the morning there is no guarantee we are going to make it back home safe and yet we often take it for granted that we will.

On July eleven I went to the hospital to have a medical procedure done.  I expected to have been back home in about three hours.  However things went horribly wrong.  I had a hole blown through my colon as soon as the procedure started.  I was told I needed to do a CAT Scan to get more information on what had happened.  It confirmed what the doctor suspected; there was a hole in my colon which was not supposed to be there.

I was then told that a team of surgeons were coming to speak with me.  To make a long story short, I was told that they needed to operate immediately to repair the damage that had been done.  The operation lasted three hours and went extremely well.  In fact I was told by the surgical team that considering the severity of my injuries the operation went even better than they had anticipated.  What they were even more amazed at was how quickly after the operation I began to heal.  I was told every day that the speed at which I was recovering was amazing.

Thanks to God for his healing touch, I was released from hospital on July 20, after spending nine days there.  I give thanks to God that the operation went well and that I began to heal quickly afterwards.  I am not fully recovered yet but I am getting stronger every day and am just thankful to be alive.

 

Women Respect Yourselves

 

We talk about women rights and we say that men should show more respect to women.  However it is apparent that some women have no respect for themselves.  Some feel there is nothing wrong with stripping or selling their bodies.  They feel it is okay to do these things to make a living.  Of course this type of behavior is nothing new; the difference is that in times past women engaged in these activities would keep it a secret from their friends and family.  Now it is as if it is something to brag about.

The thing is that society is accepting and rewarding this kind of behavior and therefore women feel it is not something to be ashamed of anymore.  Porn stars are becoming celebrities so what’s the big deal?  But does this make it okay?  Maybe given all the publicity young girls now think it is okay.  There is s case of a young woman who came to this country to attend college.  She started college but have dropped out and now she is working as a stripper.  She keep posting about her newly found profession on face book.  It is as if she has gotten a degree and she wants the world to know about it.

Recently there was a video by Justin Timberlake on YouTube.  In this video called ‘Tunnel Vision’ there were girls performing in the nude.  They were naked while he remained fully clothed throughout the video.  The video was banned briefly from YouTube but is now back on it. I see no reason for nudity is this video but as long as women put themselves out there as commodities which can be bought these kind of things will continue to happen.

Women if you want to get respect it has to begin with you respecting yourselves.  Stop allowing men to use you in this kind of degrading manner because of the end of the day they will consider you cheap and they will have no respect for you.  You have the power to say I will take part in your video but I will not degrade myself and I will not strip. In Times Square on the fourth of July two women were seen in wearing nothing but body paint.  Was this really necessary?  There is a time and a place for everything.  Women if you want men to respect you start respecting yourselves!  You are not commodities; therefore do not give men the impression that you can be bought!

 

 

I Miss You

I count every minute of every single day
Time seems to have stood still since you went away,
I miss your smile, I miss your laughter,
I miss your gentle touch,
I miss making love with you,
Honey I miss you oh so much.
We talk on the phone but it’s not the same,
At night in my dreams I whisper your name,
I can’t wait till you are back home,
Here safe in my arms,
Until then I pray that God will protect you,
And keep you from all harm.

(C)Marva Seaton 2013

The Paula Deen Saga

I have been following with interest the whole Paula Deen Saga as it unfolded.  The impression I have formed is that clearly this is a woman who characterize people in terms of the color of their skin.  She was perhaps raised in a culture where black people were only seen as servants and although time has evolved she has remained stuck in the past.

Even if she had used the N word a long time ago, the fact that Ms Deen should even consider the idea of  having what she called a plantation style wedding for her brother where the serving staff would consist of black men dressed in white jackets and bow ties clearly illustrates that she is still living in the plantation days.  It was no big deal to call blacks the N word and make jokes about them back then because it was considered okay.  I do not get the feeling that Ms Deen is comfortable around blacks and that she feels they are her equal and because of this it is extremely difficult to apologize and sound genuine doing it.

It is not surprising that her apologies have not gone down well with a lot of people. The apologies did not seem to come from the heart and there were nothing in the words she spoke that gave one the impression that she was genuinely sorry.  She should have nipped the tree in the bud from the moment she admitted to the world that she had made racial slurs.  Instead of her weak apologies she should have come out with a strong apology and say it like said really meant it

I am no expert at apologies but maybe her apology could have read something like this:

I know that a lot of people are displeased with me and they have every right to be.  I was raised to be honest and take responsibility for my actions.  I admit that I did use racial slurs many many years ago and for this I am truly sorry.  I apologize to everyone I’ve hurt by my unacceptable behavior.  I should have known better and I should never have used those words.  It is wrong to make jokes about people because of the color of their skin or their racial background.  To all whom I have offended I am truly sorry and I hope you will find in in your heart to forgive me.  I ask for a second chance to make amends to all whom I have hurt by my insensitive words and actions.  Please accept my sincere apologies and I humbly ask again for your forgiveness.

What she has done so far was to try and convince people that she is not a racist and that she is a good person.  That was not what people wanted to hear.  They wanted a sincere apology.

Ironically the person who started all of this by bringing a racial discrimination suit against Paula Deen is in fact white.  It is interesting to note that the action of one person can bring about the fall of an empire.  Ms Deen worked hard over the years to build her empire and it a matter of days her great empire turned into a sinking titanic and everyone is rushing to get off board.  No one is willing to go down with a sinking ship!

The Food Network was the first to get off board by not renewing her contract.  Since then other companies have cut ties with her, among them are: JCPenny, Walmart, Target, Home Depot, Smithfield Foods, Caesar Entertainment and Random House has cancelled the publication of her new book.

Do I believe Paula Deen deserves the harsh punishment being meted out to her?  Probably not.  At the same time I understand why the businesses did what they did.  They understand something that up to now I don’t believe Ms Deen has fully grasped and that is, in business people are important irrespective of you ethnicity or racial background, they need the support of them all.  Another valuable lesson learned is that friendship does not take priority in business.  When situations like these arise people are going to do what is best for business, who know she probably might have done the same.

Media Sending Wrong Messages to Young Girls

We are living in an era where the media give more attention to things that are negative rather than issues that will have positive influences on our young girls.  

Many young girls work hard at bettering their lives.  Some have worked and put themselves through colleges and universities and excel at what they do.  Are they given and recognition for their achievements?  Very few are.  After all what is interesting about getting a degree?  What is juicy about having a reputable profession?  That is not good enough to make the headlines.  It is not important to put out there so that other young girls can have hope and the understanding that if they too work hard they can achieve great things and have a successful and meaningful career.

On the other hand a girl can make a pornographic video and rise to fame.  She exposes her body for the world to see and for this she is rewarded.  She is made to feel like a celebrity.  She might even get her own reality TV show in recognition of her great achievement.  What a world we are living in.  She strips her self and perform sexual acts for the world to see,  the world loves it and she rises to fame and stardom.

The media is so hypocritical.  Kristin Stewart kissed another man and the media went after her like scavengers in pursuit of dead meat.  It was just one stupid kiss, one momentarily lapse in judgement and it was as if she had committed the ultimate crime.  Would it have been more acceptable if she had made a porn video?

We are sending the wrong messages to our young girls and then we have the nerve to turn around and criticize them when they try to follow the example of the ones we idolize and make stars.  The stories of great achievements by our young women will rarely be heard, but the porn stars will make the headlines every-time.

To all the good girls out there do not be discouraged.  Continue to do greatness even if it is not recognized.  Live your lives in such a manner that your children will be proud to call you mom and see you as their role models.  Continue to live exemplary lives and be proud of who you are.

 

inspirational quote

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle and the life of that candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared .

Kim and Kanye’s Baby Name

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are two people who love publicity, well Kim a little more than Kanye.  She loves being the center of attention.  It is therefore not surprising than in naming their baby they would give the child a name that draws more attention to them the parents rather than the child.  They had to choose a name that would create a stir and draw media attention.  Beyonce and Jay-Z got a lot of attention when they came up with the name Blue Ivy for their baby and of course Kim and Kanye had to out do them.  What better name to do this than North West?  I suppose they can give themselves a pat on the back for all the media attention the name has gotten then.  Yea, yea, guys you did it again!!    You are the center of attention and the talk of the town.  I think this child is going to grow up to hate geography, especially when the kids start teasing her at school!

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The Clock of Life

The clock of life is wound but once,

And no man has the power

to tell just when the hands will stop

At late or early hour.

Now is the only time you own

Live…Love…Toil, with a will.

Place no faith in Tomorrow,

The clock may then be still.

The Lovely Month of June {Nora M Bozeman}

Summer came to visit me
In the merry month of June;
She brought her warm and winsome days
And at night she lit up the moon.

Summer came to visit me,
Adorned in her Sunday best;
She wore a hat of sapphire blue
And her gown was daisy-dressed.

Summer came to visit me
And spread sunshine everywhere.
Emerald shoes were on her feet,
Spun-gold was in her hair.

Summer came to visit me,
Sweet songbirds trilled a tune;
And it’s all because God fashioned this –
The lovely month of June.

Honor Killing on American Soil

When people migrate they leave their countries behind but often times they take their culture and traditions with them.  They aggressively try to enforce their beliefs and continue to live by the traditions that they are accustomed to even it is not in keeping with what others would consider to be normal behavior.
The idea of Honor Killing is deeply embedded in certain societies and family honor is more important than life itself.  In most instances there is a gross misrepresentation of the word ‘Honor’.  Usually it is the woman in the family who has to sacrifice her happiness to uphold the family honor.
Let us look at the following scenario:  A girl is forced to marry a man almost twice her age.  He beats her, sexually abuse and tortures her.  Yet if she leaves her abusive husband it will be looked upon as bringing disgrace on the family by  people who are obsessed with maintaining family honor.  She is therefore expected to live a life of misery and suffer silently because her family believes this is the honorable thing to do.
Families will go to the extreme to maintain their family honor.  It is therefore not surprising that on October 20, 2009 Faleh Hassan Almaleki  a native of Iraq living in Glendale Arizona mowed down his twenty year-old daughter Noor Almaleki in what was  considered a honor attack.  Noor died as a result of the injuries she sustained.
Her crime?  Her father felt she had become “too westernized”; he was also angry that she had left the man she married in Iraq and returned to Arizona to live with her boyfriend and his mother.  Faleh felt his daughter had brought disgrace on the family and took matters in his own hands.  He became judge, jury and executioner.  The punishment for her transgressions was death and he executed her punishment by running her over in his Jeep Cherokee.  Her boyfriend’s mother also suffered injuries in the attack.
After the attack he fled the country, driving to Mexico and taking a plane to London.  He was detained by British Police and extradited back to the US.  In February 2011 a Phoenix jury found him guilty of second degree murder in the death of his daughter.  He was also convicted of aggravated assault for injuries suffered by the mother of his daughter’s boyfriend in the 2009 attack.
For those who continue to practice this monstrous act I hope the day will come when they will realize that they are the one bringing disgrace on the family.  In a normal society family member don’t go around killing each other.  Even animals form packs to defend and protect their kind.  There is nothing honorable about being a murderer! There is nothing honorable about taking the life of someone especially the people around you whom you should love and protect.       It is the murderer in the family who should be seen as bringing disgrace on the family.