Stand up for Yourself
No matter how much you love a man do not allow yourself to become a door mat and let him walk all over you. You have to maintain your individuality and your self-respect. If he cannot respect you trust me you don’t need him in your life. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that it will be okay, you are not going to find happiness with someone who does not respect you.
It cannot be done says the man who sit idle all day and plays video games. It cannot be done says the woman who sits all day and watch TV and gossip. It cannot be done says that friend who tried once and failed. Listen not to the ones who tell you it cannot be done. Go out and do it and prove them wrong.
Some Abusers are like Chameleons
You cannot just look at a man and tell that he is an abuser. Sometimes they are the most unsuspecting people you will ever meet. It could be that man who is always cordial and greets you with a smile. It can be that deacon who prays the loudest and the longest in church on Sundays. It can be that man who always seems helpful. Most abusers like to be liked and they can be quite charming. It is this charm that often draws women in.
In public he may treat his woman like a queen because he wants people to have a good impression of him. It is behind closed doors that the monster in him rears its ugly head and he becomes a different person. There is no one for him to impress and he becomes her worst nightmare. He often sets the stage so that people might not even believe her if she tells them what he is truly like. It is easy to get in his grasp but hard to get out because he likes control and he thinks he is clever. The woman has no choice but to seek people who she can trust and plan her escape.
Today you must say to self-doubt you cannot stay, I have no room for you. In order to achieve growth you have to first break up with the doubter within you because if you don’t it will hold you back and prevent you from taking the steps to achieve your goals.
Every morning is a new opportunity to start over or to complete something that you have left undone. Do not take it for granted and do not put off what you can do today for tomorrow. Life passes by so quickly and missed opportunities seldom come around again so make this a productive day at the end of it you will feel a sense of accomplishment.
One of the signs to look for that might serve as an indication that your man may be setting you up for abuse is isolation. A man who loves you and have your best interest at heart will not force you to choose between him and your friends or your family. If he does this it is for an ulterior motive.
I recall the abusive boyfriend of a friend bragging to me that her family was telling her to leave him but she wouldn’t. He said that she didn’t care about her family, that she loved him and would do anything he told her to do. He was gloating….so proud of himself.
This is the mindset of some abusers, they want you all to themselves so that you are cut off from both family and friends. When he starts to abuse you there is often no one left for you to turn to. Women empower yourselves, watch out for these signs and don’t ignore the red flags.