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Who you fall in love with is destined by fate. While we can plan for most aspect of our lives, when it comes to love the best made plans can fall to pieces. Often emotions take over and you find you are no longer in control. The heart wants what the heart wants and sometimes the heart gets what the heart wants, and yet relationships fail.
Sometimes the excitement is all in the chase and once the prize is won the excitement diminishes and complacency sets in. People begin taking each other for granted, passions wains…. Often times relationships fail because people don’t take the time to try to make it work. Like everything else, in order to be a success, relationships take work.
Do you believe that if you truly love someone it means that you will love them no matter what? Now I know people have mixed views about what true love entails however one must be quick to understand that a healthy relationship involves two people having mutual love and respect for one another. It should never be a one-sided thing so don’t fall for that trap where a partner hurts you and then tell you that if you truly love you would forgive him. How about him loving you enough not to hurt you in the first place?
The belief that true love last forever and it is worth fighting for is one of the reason why women remain in abusive relationship hoping that the more love they show the abusive partner, the more likely it is that he will change. This is a belief that often leads to disappointment for no amount of love that you show him will make him change. He has to feel that deep love inside for you and respect you enough not to hurt you. They change that you seek can only come from him. You can’t make him change and you should never settle for abuse. It is okay not to love your abuser. It is okay to walk away.
Nothing makes for a happier relationship than to have: a man who understands himself and his role. A man who understands that life comes with responsibilities and it is not always going to be smooth sailing. A man who will ride with the tide and be a tower of support when the waters of life gets turbulent. One who will not back down nut stand tall and give support to his woman.
His woman in return should get to know his likes, his dislikes, his dreams, and his aspiration. Give him love and support and make him feel appreciated. Because he is a man doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to feel appreciated nor does it mean that he doesn’t want to feel loved too. If he gives you his all you should give him your all. Love and cherish each.
Abuse of women is a form of human rights violation that affects women just about every where in the world. Ironically one of the thing which contributes to abuse is the lack of unity among women and the fact that in some societies women actually take part in abusing other women. In places such as India and Pakistan mother-in-laws and sister-in-laws often beat and torture a new bride if they are not satisfied with the dowry that the family receives. There is no unity among the sisterhood and they see nothing wrong with hurting one of their kind.
In countries where Female Genital Mutilation is practiced, it is often the women who carry out this gruesome operation. In the Cameroon and other places that practice breast ironing it is the women who hurt their daughters and inflict physical as well as psychological scars. Women disfigure and hurt their daughters in what they say is an attempt to protect them from rape and harassment by men. These women fail to grasp the understanding that what they are doing is just another form of abuse. It is a no win situation for many young girls; if the men don’t hurt them, their mothers will.
One of the biggest obstacle in eliminating abuse against women worldwide is the fact that in many countries women have been conditioned to accept abuse as a part of life. Women suffer abuse in forced marriages and do nothing to protect their daughters from experiencing the same fate. So the vicious cycle of abuse is allowed to continue. For many young girls there is no escape, no way out. There is no one to stand up for them and no one to protect them.
The change must start with women taking responsibility for protecting their daughters instead of hurting them. Women must unity in the fight for equal rights for women. Young girls must no longer be denied the right to an education and they should not be forced into child marriages for which they are not prepared physically, mentally or emotionally. Women must understand that abuse of any form is not acceptable.
After Brian proposed to Jill, his father took him to one side. “Son, when I first got married to your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was take off my pants. I gave them to your mother to put them on, which she did. They were huge on her and she said she wouldn’t wear them because they were too large. I said to her, “Of course they are too big for you, I wear the pants in this family and I always will. Ever since that day son we have never had a single problem.”
Brian took his dad’s advice and did the same thing to his wife on his wedding night. Then, Jill took off her panties and gave them to Brian. “Try these on,” she said. Brian went along with it and tried them on but they were far too small. “What’s the point of this I can’t get into your panties,” said Brian. “Exactly,” Jill replied. “And if you don’t change your attitude, you never will!
People have this serious misconception that a partner will change once they get married. After all marriage is a serious thing isn’t it? So if a person take a vow to love and cherish you it means that they will even if the person was cheating on you and betraying your trust prior to the marriage. No they might not change. It is wrong to assume that and if you marry a person their behavior will suddenly change. If you marry someone knowing that they are being unfaithful to you what motivation is there for them to change. If you accepted the behavior isn’t it telling the person that you are okay with it? Decide beforehand what you will or will not accept from a relationship. Don’t start a marriage on a rocky foundation where trust is an issue. A person who is not dedicated to ensuring your happiness will only bring you sorrow.
One of the biggest problems in relationship is that we usually do not have a clear understanding of what we want in a partner or define clearly our expectations. Many people are so smitten by physical appearance that they pay little attention to the person’s character. The end result is that we often find out too late that all that glistens is not gold and that looks can be deceiving. So before you make the biggest mistake of your life get to know as much as possible about the character of the person you are about to become involved with. Never assume that because the person is physically attractive he or she is a perfect match for you.