Tag: Dream

A dream without action to make it reality
will remain nothing but a dream.
A seed will remain a seed unless you plant it
We all have potential inside each man is
the possibility for  growth.

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Short Story by Marva Seaton

Abandoned but Not Defeated

`     I remember quite clearly just like it was yesterday, the day my world fell apart.  I suppose now looking back I should have seen it coming.  I had heard the rumors and I had seen the signs but yet somehow I would not let myself believe that Robert would  do me wrong.  We had four children together, the youngest being only four months old at the time.  What man, I told myself, would walk out on his family especially with a young child just added to the family.  I was wrong.

Robert had started going to church very regular.  He never once asked me to accompany him, but I did not think much of it. Then the rumors started flying around that he was involved with one of his church sisters.  I chose to ignore the rumors.  I wanted to believe that his reason for going to church was to give thanks to God and nothing more.  Until he actually told me he was leaving me, I never believed any of the stories I heard.  I was in denial.

It was a weekend I will always remember.  It was Saturday and I was getting ready to take the children to my mom‘s place for a long overdue visit when Robert came into our bedroom.  He had gotten up early and was ready to leave for church.  He came towards me and I could tell that he had something on his mind.

“When will you be back?” he asked.

“Late Sunday evening,” I said.

“I won’t be here when you get back,” he said.

I nodded not quite understanding what he was trying to tell me.

“Are you going out somewhere?” I asked.

“No,” he said.  “I am just not going to be here anymore.”

For a split second my heart stopped.  I looked in his eyes and my worst fears were confirmed, he was leaving me!

I felt as if I had been punched in the gut and yet I managed to keep my voice steady and controlled as I said to him, “Would you mind explaining to me what this is all about?”

“I have met someone,” he said.  “I am going to marry her.”

I looked at him this man who was my childhood sweet heart.  I remember how much I had defied my parents to be with him.  I remember how warm and passionate he had been back them.  Now there was no warmth in his eyes.  He was so calm about it to the point of coldness.

Tears threatened.  He was surgically dissecting me.  The knife was plunged into my heart but I knew I should not crumble.  It hurt like hell but I swore I wouldn’t let him see me cry, not over him.

If Robert found it so easy to walk out on us I was not going to beg him to stay.  If the life we had meant nothing then he could go.  He took my virginity at fifteen.  I bore him our first child at eighteen.  We were together for fifteen years.  I was apparently good enough for sex, good enough to give him children but not good enough to marry.

“Well best of luck,” I said.

He looked at me kind of weird.  This was definitely not the response he was expecting.  Truthfully I didn’t quite know what I was saying.  I was feeling all numb inside.  The man I had given fifteen years of my life to, was leaving me, not just me, he was abandoning our children.

I wanted to ask him why but then I thought whatever his answer was, it wasn’t going to ease my pain.

“You need to tell the children, ” I said.

He nodded and walked out of the room.

The baby started crying, I picked him out and rocked him against my chest.  I wanted to cry too, but I knew I couldn’t.  I had to be strong.

I don’t know what he said to the children because shortly afterwards my two girls ten year-old Natasha and nine year-old Melissa came to me crying.

“Is it true?” they both asked.  “Is daddy really leaving?

I nodded, I couldn’t speak.  I just wanted to hold them close and tell them everything was going to be okay.

Robert Junior came into the room. He didn’t say anything, he just looked at me as I stood there trying to keep a brave face as I reassured the girls that we were going to be fine.  He came and put his arms around me.

“You are going to be okay mom,” he said.  “We are going to get through this.”

I was surprised yet proud of the mature manner in which he was handling his father’s announcement that he was leaving.  I hugged my son.

“Yes we are going to be okay,” I told him with more conviction than I felt.

That morning all I had was my pride, my stubborn pride that would not let me cry or beg him not to go.  I did not cry in front of the children either.  I did not cry until I got to my mom‘s place and was alone with her in her room.

My mother was furious when I told her that Robert was leaving me to get married.  At first she thought I was joking and then she said “Are you sure he is not on drugs?”

I guess she thought he was not in his right mind.  But then I told her about the rumors and about the woman he was leaving me for.

She went all thoughtful and silent. Finally she said, “You know what if he wants to walk out on his family there isn’t much you can do, just make sure that he takes care of his children.  He is an ass and maybe someday he will realize how much of an ass he is.  You are just thirty, you are still young and you still have your life ahead of you.”

I knew that my mom was right.  My life wasn’t over.  Another thing that gave me comfort was the fact that although I am not a conceited person I felt I looked a hell of a lot better than the woman he was leaving me for.

He married he like he said he would and I won’t lie to you it hurt like crazy.  For weeks it was the talk of the town.  Every time I went out with the children I could feel stares directed our way.  People had conversations with each other about what had happened. A lot of people in my neighborhood were very sympathetic towards me but I did not want pity, I wanted revenge.  I wanted to get back at him.  I wanted to make him hurt in the same way he had hurt me.

After a while the need for revenge faded to be replaced by a burning desire to show him what a fool he was for walking out on the best thing he had ever had in his life, me and his children.  I wanted to show him that I was more than just a body designed to bear children.  I needed to show him that I could be anything I wanted to be.

I had always been interested in nursing and when I applied to and was accepted by a renowned nursing school, I knew I was on the way to make my dream of  being a registered nurse become a reality.  My mom was by my side every step of the way, assisting me with the children.  With her help and my part time job I buckled my belt and tried to mane ends meet.

During this period Robert hardly saw the children.  I received money from him once in a while, usually when I was too broke to provide for them and called him to let him know his children had nothing to eat.  Most times if I didn’t call I wouldn’t get anything.  He was too busy providing for his new wife and her two children who weren’t his.

My burning desire to have a profession that would at least give me some financial independence was the fuel which propelled me to work hard at achieving my goal.  I knew no matter how rough it got I would not quit.

Three years went by quicker than I had anticipated.  On my graduation day I cried, but this time it was tears of joy.  I was proud of my accomplishment.

A few months later I was working on the surgical ward of the local hospital when a patient who had been involved in a serious motor vehicle accident earlier that morning, after under going surgery was admitted to the ward.  I had heard about the three car collision when I came on duty that evening but my shift was busy and I had not gotten around to find out who the victims were.

When the porter wheeled the patient in I momentarily went into a state of shock as I came face to face with the man who had walked out of my life four years before.  Robert, my children’s father was one of the victims of that morning’s accident and he had lost both legs.  All the anger and hate that I had in my heart for him for the way he had treated me and his children melted away.  I looked at him and all I felt was pity.

His wife was there beside him and I could see she had been crying.  Her eyes were red and puffy and even as he was being wheeled in she was wiping tears from her eyes.  But when she came face to face with me she tried to put on a brave face.

I had nerves of steel that evening.  I kept my professional cool, treated him just like I would any other patient.  After the porter helped me get him into bed I adjusted his pillows, made sure he was comfortable and asked if there was anything he needed.  I kept my emotions in check while making a mental note that I would probably have to make the children come and visit him.

There was an awkward silence between us.  It was as if those fifteen years  we had spent together never happened.  Under normal circumstances I suppose I would be telling him I was sorry about him losing his legs, but this was not normal circumstances. This was the man who had abandoned me and my children and here was the woman who had allowed him to do so.

I knew he was still highly sedated and I wondered how he was going to deal with the fact that he had lost his legs when he was more alert and conscious of his situation.  I knew how much he took pride in his appearance and how he used to work out to maintain his fine physique.

I turned and looked at her.  I couldn’t help it.  I just looked, I didn’t say anything but something in my expression must have told her what I was thinking because she turned to me and said.

“I’m sorry we didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“It’s okay,” I said.

I raised my left hand to display my flashy engagement ring sparkling with diamonds and I sore I saw him wince when he saw the ring on my finger.  Life has a way of turning out just the way it was meant to be I thought.  Who could have told me I would have met someone as wonderful as Stephen.  Who could have told me a man would declare his undying love for a woman who already had four kids, but he had.

When I met him two years ago I was afraid to let my heart believe that I could love again. I did not believe it was possible for me to care for anyone again but Stephen made a believer out of me.  I thought I would have scared him off when I told him I had four children, but if anything the hurt I had been through made him want to protect and care for me even more.  Four years ago I did not dream of getting married much less becoming a doctor’s wife.  But a month ago he proposed and it was as if my wildest dream had come true.

“It’s okay,” I said once more.  “Life had a way of turning out exactly how it was meant to be.”

I knew in the present circumstances my words might have sounded somewhat unkind, but it was the truth.  It was exactly how I felt.  Sometimes the truth hurts but that’s just the way it is.

( C ) 2013 Marva Seaton

Dreams and Nightmares

You told me you loved me and I was the only one,
You told me you would cherish every memory that we made,
You told me I was the woman of your dreams,
No other could compare.
So why did your dream of us become my nightmare?
Why can’t I erase the vision of you making love to her?
Why do I keep reliving the nightmare of you,
Whispering I love you in her ears,
Telling her she was the love of your life.
Now I keep wondering if she is the love of your life,
Then who am I?

Second Chances

It’s funny how things change,
There was a time when other things mattered,
In life not all dreams come true,
But there comes a time when you realize,
That the things that matters most,
Are the things you already have,
And everything else takes second place.
Sometimes you have to wonder,
What the fuss was all about,
So many did not make it through,
So many lives have been cut short,
So many have met untimely deaths,
So many tears have been shed,
So many have known sorrow,
For so many there is no tomorrow.

So many of us spend our lives complaining
When we should be giving thanks,
For the life that we have,
It may not be perfect,
But we are alive, and because we are alive,
There is still hope.
There is hope for a brighter tomorrow,
Hope to see our dreams come true.
We must use the time we have,
To repair broken relationships,
Heal old wounds,
Forgive those who hurt us,
And be at peace with our enemies,
Our friends and ourselves.

Think Before you Close the Door

Ι watched him walk through the door,
Without a backward glance,
My heart was breaking but my pride,
Would not allow me to beg him not to go.
The resounding slam of the door,
Was like a knife being thrust,
Deep into my heart,
Salty tears stung my eyes,
But I refused to cry.

He walked away and I was suddenly engulfed,
In a pool of emptiness,
The silence was deafening,
I could hear myself thinking,
Asking questions that might,
Forever remain unanswered.

Why did he leave me for another?
I gave him all my youth,
He basked in my beauty and warmth,
Told me love stories of how,
We would never be apart,
I was the love of his life he said,
No other could compare,
He said we would grow old together,
So why am I now the only one here?

He met her three months ago,
A sweet pretty girl, just twenty years old,
The same age as our daughter,
He could be her father!
Was it a case of midlife crisis,
Or just plain selfishness?
Twenty-five years devoted to this man,
And he threw it down the drain.

The months have passed by slowly,
My heart is healing,
It doesn’t hurt so much anymore,
He called me yesterday,
She left him, not at all surprised,
You know what he asked me?
If he could come back home!
What home I wondered?
I can still hear the resounding,
Slamming of the door,
It still echoed in my ears,
Reminding me that he had closed,
The chapter in the life we once shared.

I didn’t have to think about it,
Much as I love him,
My answer was no.
I said it loud,
I screamed it in his ears,
So there was no mistake about it,
He could clearly understand,
That was the last word,
He would hear from me,
It was the final goodbye.

Life goes on!

Every Morning {Grace E. Easley}

Waking up each morning
Brings an eagerness to live,
And joy seeps from my waiting heart,
As through an open sieve.
The years seem to have no consequence,
And I am once again
Soaking up God’s goodness,
Like the brown earth after rain.
My cross is not so heavy
When view in morning light,
And I can face by day the thoughts
I could not bear at night.
It’s only in believing that
God shares my narrow way;
That I can keep the best in life,
And throw the rest away.
It’s all in how you look at life
That tells the final tale;
How well you measures up decides
If you win or fail.
So when I wake each morning,
Though I can’t see His face,
I know God walks beside me,
And the world’s a better place.

Live Life

What do you do when your plans go asunder?
What do you do when they all come to naught?
you pick up the pieces, you brush off the dust,
You stop for a moment and cry if you must,
You smile through the tear drops and try to be brave,
Then you move on forward to battle the next wave.

Life is sometimes a battlefield where,
Only the toughest survive.
Life comes with problems we all must try to overcome,
Don’t dwell too much on the problems,
Lest you forget how to have fun.

Everyday presents an opportunity for you to begin
To write a new chapter in your book of life,
Cherish every moment, take the bitter with the sweet,
Let your book be bright and colorful,
Take the time to make it great.
When you grow old cherish those moments,
And remember that when your chapter
In this book of life is over,
For someone else it just begins.