If you ask some women why they stay in an abusive relationship, many will say: “I love him. He has this power over me. I don’t have the strength to leave him. He is not ao bad when he isn’t angry. He makes me feel loved.”
The problem many women struggle with, is self-love. Ok, so you love him, I get that. But how much do you love yourself? Do you love yourself enough to say I will not allow a man to put his hands on me in an abusive manner? Does he love you enough to know he should protect you and not hurt you?
In this scourge where many women are dying, leaving may be the only solution to staying alive. Are you saying you do not possess the strength to live? No man deserves losing your life over. If you love your life as much as you love him, save yourself!
Abusive men are like chameleons, you never know whether you are going or coming with them. They can be sweet one moment and violent the next. When a partner hits you, no matter how remorseful they are afterwards just know that it won’t be the last time he hits you.
Accept his apology but do not remain in the same situation where he can do it again. If he has no control of over his anger that is a red flag that you shouldn’t stay. The moment he strikes you is the moment you need to leave. Don’t give an abusive partner a second chance; just go.
In many abusive relationships the abuse doesn’t start right away. In fact when he is pursuing you he may be so charming that you feel you have won a prize. It is when he gets comfortable with you and he believes he has you hooked that you may begin to see his true colors.
If he objects to you having a relationship with your former friends and even family members, he may not have your best interest at heart. Abusers love to have their victims isolated. That way when he begins to abuse you there is no one for you to turn to.
If he hits you, tells you he is sorry and it won’t happen again, do not believe him. If he couldn’t control his anger that time what’s to stop him from losing control again? Each time you forgive him you give him more power over you. Slowly over time he will groom you to accept abuse in the relationship.
Times have changed. As women we have evolved. Gone are the days when women were expected to stay home, be good wives and bear children. Women are now go-getters forging the way and making strides in almost every area of society.
However we still have women who believe it is a man’s job to take care of them and make them happy. This is not a good idea. A relationship should never be about one person’s total dependence on another but rather about two people working together to create something great.
Dependence is one of the key factors that many women become trapped in unhappy and abusive relationships. Even if they have the will to leave, inability to finance themselves keep them trapped. Whether it is a marriage or a relationship maintain your independence. It will be one of the best decisions you have ever made
The numerous deaths of women due to domestic violence raises the question, “Are our men becoming more violent?” According to a new release by the United Nations Office on Drug and crime, 137 women worldwide are killed by partners or family members each day. Now that is alarming.
Not every case makes it to the news. In recent times there was the disappearance of Andreen McDonald in Texas. After months of futile search her remains was discovered and her husband arrested and charged with murder. We have the case of Jennifer Dulos, a mother of five from Connecticut who went missing back in May. To date her body has not been found. The most recent one that made the news was that Florida mom who went missing. Her body along with the bodies of her four children were found and her husband charged with murder.
The most horrendous story yet was that of Chris Watts, who murdered his pregnant wife and their two other children. He confessed that after his daughter Bella watched him smother her sister to death, said to him, ‘Please, Daddy, don’t do to me what you just did to CeCe.’ ” He killed her anyway. A young child pleads for her life and you still kill her. Where is the moral compass? Do men like Chris Watts deserve to live?
Domestic violence needs the attention of everyone in society. Talk about in the schools, in the workplaces, in the churches, In the prisons, in the social clubs. Talk to you brother, talk to your sister, if you know he or she is an abuser or is being abused. We must break this vicious cycle. Even if it’s uncomfortable, let’s start the conversation.
We live in a world where some people design the rules and others simply fall in line. Society put a lot of pressure on women and trying to live up to society’s norm can lead to unhappiness for a lot of women. An unmarried woman may find herself being asked, “When are you going to get married? When she finally does people start asking, “When are you going to have a baby? Because after all that’s what a woman is supposed to do.
If the marriage fail to produce a child, people are quick to point finger at the woman. “Oh she can’t have children or “Oh, she is barren. This is putting it mildly for women have been called mules for failing to produce children. In some cases it is not even her fault but rather the man, who is unable to impregnate her. However she gets the blame. I say to women, don’t be pressured by society’s’ norm. Live the life that makes you happy. Do what is best for you.
I don’t know whether some women are naive or just plain foolish. I can never understand how a woman will cover up for or help a man to harm his wife and truly believe they can have a happy life together after. If he hurts her to be with you what make you think you are so special. Don’t you think he will hurt you too. What goes around have a way of coming back around. That is the law of nature.