“It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know. We all know people who are so much afraid of pain that they shut themselves up like clams in a shell and, giving out nothing, receive nothing and therefore shrink until life is a mere living death.”
Relationships take hard work, and in spite of your best efforts, it might not work out. Sometimes people grow apart or they take each other for granted and stop nurturing the relationship.
Not every couple like to admit to themselves or want to let others know that they cannot make it work, so they stay together even when they are both miserable.
There is no point in holding on if you are not happy. There is nothing you can gain from staying stuck in unhappiness. Sometimes when you have given it your best shot, and it is not working out, you have to let go. Walk away. It is better to be alone than to stay stuck in an unhappy relationship.
I caught a glimpse of your face, saw the sad reflection of your smile,
And the longing in your eyes,
It spoke the question you were afraid to ask.
It is all so painful, the memories of the past.
When love was right before your eyes
You chose not to see
Thinking only of your youth and the need to be free.
The years have gone by quickly
and now you are all alone
You yearn for something you no longer have
Now it is much too late to turn back the clock.
Isn’t it funny how we never realize what we have until we lose it?
So often relationships fail because of lack of commitment. Partners take each other for granted and assume they will always stick around. Don’t be that person who let something good slip away and then live with regrets.
As humans we all seek love. We want to know someone loves us. But how do you know if your partner loves you? Words are cheap. It is easy for people to say things even if they don’t mean it. As the old adage say, “words may lie but actions never do.” This is what you must rely on. Listen to the words but pay more attention to the person’s actions. How a person treats you is the way he or she feels about you. Pay attention!
One of the trap victims of domestic violence may fall into is believing the abuse they suffer is their fault. Abusers seldom take responsibility for their actions. Instead they deflect the blame to the victim. In a conversation once with a man who constantly abused his girlfriend, he said to me “I really love her.” I asked, “Then why do you abuse her?” His answer was, “To tell you the truth I don’t know. Sometimes she makes me so mad.” I was not at all surprised that he chose to blame her for his inability to control his anger.
Victims of domestic violence need to know it is not their fault. You do not deserve abuse. You should never accept abuse. Do not keep silent about abuse or feel ashamed it is happening to you. Instead speak up. Seek help.
Cases of domestic violence is up as many individuals find themselves quarantined with abusive partners. For many there is little they can do about it. There is a saying, “prevention is better than cure.” If we apply this to many life situations, we can avoid making serious mistakes.
The most important way to prevent being trapped in an abusive relationship is knowing the signs to watch out for. A woman may say of a partner; he loses his temper sometime and tells me mean, hurtful things. He is controlling and jealous but he never hits me. His temper, jealousy and controlling ways are all warning signs you should not ignore. The mean hurtful things he tells you, is an indication that emotional abuse has already begun.
When it escalates to the point where he encourages you to cut off communication with your friends or make you choose between him and your family you need to run. Isolation is one of the biggest clue that he is grooming you for abuse. If you cut off ties with the ones closest to you, when the abuse begins, you will have no one to turn to. The longer you stay the more control you lose and the harder it is to leave. Know the signs. Look out for them, and take action to avoid unnecessary hurt and pain.
Relationships can a complex thing and it takes both partners to make it work. The mistake a lot of women make is expecting an overgrown boy with no ambition, to play the role of a man.
Recently I felt bad for an individual who found her self in an unfortunate situation. She had a guy who wasn’t working. She was working three jobs, paying all the bill while he stayed idle with a lot of time on his hands. As the saying goes while the cat’s away the mice will play and that is exactly what he did. While she worked, he cheated.
I don’t say a woman can’t help a man while he tries to get on his feet but in your quest for love you must be wise. If you are out working putting food on the table and your man is showing you no appreciation stop and think. Is it worth it? If at the end of the day you are not coming home to a home cooked meal or even having him there to greet you when you walk through the door, ask yourself, does he care. If he never has time for you, do you really need him? A man with no plan or goal in life will drift from woman to woman and when he is old becomes a burden to the woman who was foolish enough to hang on to him. Be wise don’t waste your time on deadbeat men.
I wrote the poem a while back. I came across it just now and thought I would share with you.
The cool crisp air was as salty as her tears
The waves came in, washing away the sand
from under her feet, and taking with it her dreams.
Deep shadows formed as the sun whispered goodbye.
The tears dried up slowly, yet her eyes would not smile
Deep pools of darkness equates the sadness in her eyes
It is over the night wind whispered
It is over the sea gulls cried
It is over the waves echoed
It is time to say goodbye.