The youthful years are gifts from God use them wisely. Do not be like the five foolish virgins who had no oil in their lamps and were caught unprepared.
Some young people live life with no thought of tomorrow and are unprepared for life’s realities. It is all good and well to have fun but you need to know who is going to have your back when the fun is over.
A young man will bounce from woman to woman living the life of a player, forming no roots because he doesn’t understand that nothing lasts forever. It is not about how many women you can sleep with but about finding a woman who is going to be there for the long ride and have your back no matter what. When you find such a woman treat her like the queen she is because the day will come when you can’t play those games. The good looks won’t last forever neither will the sex appeal. In fact the day might come when the only thing you can raise is your hand to put food to your mouth. So don’t go on living careless. Let your life take root.
Young woman don’t buy into the hype that you are beautiful and sexy and can have any man so there is no need for you to settle down. You live to be the life of the party. You want to be the one men lust after. Enjoy the ride while you can because it won’t last forever. Before you know it everything start heading south, old age start creeping in and you are left wondering where did all the years go because for the future you didn’t plan.
So young men and women while you are young and having fun remember that the youthful years are a gift from God and you must use them wisely.
The time has come for us as women to realize our worth and take responsibility for our lives. We must embrace change when we see that path that we are taking only leads to pain. We must liberate ourselves and become the masters of our own happiness. No one is going to do it for us, we have to do that for ourselves. Happiness is not a privilege, it is our birthright and we must never place it in the hands of those who have no understanding that their role is to add and not take away a woman’s happiness.
Some Abusers are like Chameleons
You cannot just look at a man and tell that he is an abuser. Sometimes they are the most unsuspecting people you will ever meet. It could be that man who is always cordial and greets you with a smile. It can be that deacon who prays the loudest and the longest in church on Sundays. It can be that man who always seems helpful. Most abusers like to be liked and they can be quite charming. It is this charm that often draws women in.
In public he may treat his woman like a queen because he wants people to have a good impression of him. It is behind closed doors that the monster in him rears its ugly head and he becomes a different person. There is no one for him to impress and he becomes her worst nightmare. He often sets the stage so that people might not even believe her if she tells them what he is truly like. It is easy to get in his grasp but hard to get out because he likes control and he thinks he is clever. The woman has no choice but to seek people who she can trust and plan her escape.
Keep the Conversation Going
An Open Letter to Men
From Women Against Domestic Violence
It is with tears in our eyes and fear for our lives that we pen this note to you. Domestic violence has taken the lives of many of our sisters leaving many of our homes broken and our children motherless. Men we need you to understand that we are not the enemy so stop treating us like one. We give to you our love, our passion, our understanding and compassion, we trust you with our lives and all we ask is that you reciprocate and treat us right. Don’t see our love for you as a weakness, don’t leave us with cuts and bruises, don’t crush out our joy and leave us broken. You see men you need to understand that love is not supposed to hurt. If your love is causing your woman hurt then it means that you are doing something wrong. Any boy can hurt a woman but it takes a man to make her happy. So the next time you raise your hand to hit a woman stop and ask yourself am I a boy or am I a man. Treat women with love and respect….Be A Man!
Never Get Involved With a Married Man
You would think that the fact that he is married would be a deterrent but despite this a lot of women get involved with married men and hang on to the hope that one day he will leave his wife.
Many women fall victims to the lie told to them by these men. Often times a man will make his wife out to be the problem in the relationship and offer the other woman hope that he will get a divorce. Some women are foolish enough to spend years waiting for him to be free, not grasping the fact that he has no intention of leaving home. Even if he does leave home what guarantee do you have that he wont do to you what he did to her. If he is married he is off limit so leave him alone.
Does He Have Multiple Baby Mothers
Ladies this is the year that we have to get real about relationships and ensure that we take the right path and make the right decisions.
A man with multiple baby mothers is probably a mover. Often times he is afraid of the responsibility of fatherhood so he keeps moving on once a child gets in the picture. A man like that rarely makes commitments to any woman and often times he is never there for his children.
This is clearly the type of man who you should stay away from. If you are unfortunate enough to fall under his spell make sure you don’t end up being another of his baby mama, unless of course you are prepared to raise your child alone. Don’t fool yourself into believing that you can change him because these kind of men often live this lifestyle until life bites them in the ass. Don’t waste your time with someone like this.
Are you Facing Emotional Abuse?
We have all heard the saying “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.” But let’s face it we all know this is not true. There is nothing more hurtful than to have someone who you love put you down with his words, insults you and say hurtful words that makes you feel worthless.
Many women suffer emotional abuse from their partners. A man will say hurtful things to a woman, which can literally tear her apart, break her down and make her feel as if she is not worthy of his love. Often he erodes her self-esteem and little by little she begins to think less of herself.
One thing ever woman must understand is that love is not supposed to hurt. If he hurts you emotionally then his kind of love is not right for you. Be true to yourself and walk away because you deserve better.
image credit Clipart Kid
Does he Show Sign of Abusiveness
One of the many dangers faced by women is domestic violence in relationships. In my home country of Jamaica a total of ten women have been murdered by their partners in a little over two weeks. This is alarming.
Domestic violence is one of the most difficult crime to contain because in many cases you don’t know beforehand that it is going to happen. The onus therefore lies on the woman to take preventative measures to protect her life.
If the man you are considering having a relationship shows signs of abusiveness or is known to have been abusive in a previous relationship stay clear of him. If he hurt you physically, even if it is one time do not give him the opportunity to put his hands on you again. Do not believe him if he tells you it will never happen again because in most cases it will. The longer you remain in an abusive relationship the more power you give to the man and the more difficult it will be for you to end the relationship.
image credit Pinterest
Is he a Casanova?
Is the man you are thinking of dating a Casanova? Does he bounce from one relationship to another and his excuse is that he is searching for the right woman. Does he look so handsome and some damn fine that you want to be the one to reel him in and change his mindset… tame him so to speak.
Don’t waste your time. A man like that is rarely ever faithful and the lover that you think he is sometimes figment of your imagination because in truth he is nothing but a heart-breaker. He may have a lot of women but unable to keep them happy because it is hard for a woman to be happy when she knows she is sharing her man.
If he seems like a player and has been with multiple woman don’t waste your time on him because chances are that he is never going to change. He will take what you have to offer until he finds his next fling and he will keep moving on.
Does he Show you That he Loves You
We have often heard it said that the most interesting story is the one where the author show rather than tell the reader what is happen. You can apply this same concept to your relationship. Your relationship can become so much more meaningful when he not only tells you that he loves you but shows you that he does.
Words without action are often meaningless words. If he tells you that he loves you yet acts differently do not believe his words but rather his actions. How a man treats you is exactly how he feels about you. Sometimes women are enthralled by the words and make excuses for the actions.
It may be a hard pill to swallow but listen to his truth, take note of the feelings that he is expressing by his actions and decide if he is showing you enough love.