It is important for us as women to have enough courage to stand up for ourselves. This is a time for change, a time for us to stop accepting less than we deserve. We must stop mistaking abuse for love, and stop making excuses to cover up for an abusive partner. It is better to be alone and happy then to be in a relationship and constantly live in pain and fear.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Let’s get the conversation going.
An Open Letter to Men
From Women Against Domestic Violence
It is with tears in our eyes and fear for our lives that we pen this note to you. Domestic violence has taken the lives of many of our sisters leaving many of our homes broken and our children motherless.
Men we need you to understand that we are not the enemy so stop treating us like one. We give to you our love, our passion, our understanding and compassion, we trust you with our lives and all we ask is that you reciprocate and treat us right. Don’t see our love for you as a weakness, don’t leave us with cuts and bruises, don’t crush out our joy and leave us broken.
Men you need to understand that love is not supposed to hurt. If your love is causing your woman hurt then it means that you are doing something wrong. Any boy can hurt a woman but it takes a man to make her happy. So the next time you raise your hand to hit a woman stop and ask yourself am I a boy or am I a man. Treat women with love and respect….Be A Man!
Awareness is important in relationship. Every woman ought to know what she wants from a relationship and what she is looking for in a partner. She must clearly define her expectations, know how much she is willing to put into the relationship and what she will not accept.
She has to predetermine that she will not accept abuse and the moment it happens she should be prepared to walk away. She needs to know that the longer she remains the more comfortable her partner gets and the more he will abuse her.
This applies to men as well. Don’t believe that because you are a man you must suffer in silence. Domestic violence is wrong and should never be accepted.
Don’t stay in an abusive relationship hoping that things will get better. Don’t invest your time in an abusive relationship hoping that he will change. Don’t live your life in misery hoping someday he will love and treat you right. If you are not happy in a relationship then the relationship doesn’t matter…walk away.
Ladies looking out for yourself is very important as others may not always be there to protect you. The biggest weapon that leaves women trapped in relationships is FEAR. Now this FEAR does not come obout overnight. Overtime an abusive partner will groom you to FEAR him so it is important to recognize signs of intimidation however subtle. If you feel that he will hurt you even if he hasn’t laid a hand on you listen to your intuition and tread carefully. You cannot build a healthy relationship with someone that you are afraid of so if he tries to intimidate you walk away.
7 REASONS NOT TO RETURN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
- Remember that it was the abusive behavior of your partner which caused you to leave in the first place. You were not happy in the relationship.
- He will continue to abuse you even if he promises you that he will never hit you again.
- Abusers seldom stop their abusive behavior unless they get some form of counseling or therapy so don’t go back and expect him to change simply because he says he has changed. As soon as he gets comfortable with you being back he will start abusing you again.
- Abusers like to instill fear in their victims so he will try to make you so fearful of him that you are less likely to leave him.
- He may become more possessive and controlling and try to make you more isolated from your family and friends. He might start keeping tabs on you, watching you more closely for any sign that you might try to leave again.
- He may do everything within his power to make it impossible for you to leave again. He might even threaten to take your life.
- The most serious of all the reasons is that he may follow through on his threats. You may never get the chance to escape a second time with your life. Some abusers are prepared to take your life and then theirs.
Once you get the chance to leave the relationship never return to an abusive partner no matter how persuasive he may be.
Keep the Conversation Going
An Open Letter to Men
From Women Against Domestic Violence
It is with tears in our eyes and fear for our lives that we pen this note to you. Domestic violence has taken the lives of many of our sisters leaving many of our homes broken and our children motherless. Men we need you to understand that we are not the enemy so stop treating us like one. We give to you our love, our passion, our understanding and compassion, we trust you with our lives and all we ask is that you reciprocate and treat us right. Don’t see our love for you as a weakness, don’t leave us with cuts and bruises, don’t crush out our joy and leave us broken. You see men you need to understand that love is not supposed to hurt. If your love is causing your woman hurt then it means that you are doing something wrong. Any boy can hurt a woman but it takes a man to make her happy. So the next time you raise your hand to hit a woman stop and ask yourself am I a boy or am I a man. Treat women with love and respect….Be A Man!
Does he Show Sign of Abusiveness
One of the many dangers faced by women is domestic violence in relationships. In my home country of Jamaica a total of ten women have been murdered by their partners in a little over two weeks. This is alarming.
Domestic violence is one of the most difficult crime to contain because in many cases you don’t know beforehand that it is going to happen. The onus therefore lies on the woman to take preventative measures to protect her life.
If the man you are considering having a relationship shows signs of abusiveness or is known to have been abusive in a previous relationship stay clear of him. If he hurt you physically, even if it is one time do not give him the opportunity to put his hands on you again. Do not believe him if he tells you it will never happen again because in most cases it will. The longer you remain in an abusive relationship the more power you give to the man and the more difficult it will be for you to end the relationship.
image credit Pinterest
New Jersey Cop Kills Ex-wife
Image credit patch.com
Each year we talk about protecting women from abuse and call for an end to domestic violence but how much of this is just lip service? Is everything being done to protect women?
If we take a look at what happened to fifty-one year-old Tamara Seidle it seems like the answer is no. Seidle was shot to death by her ex-husband who incidentally is a police Sgt. Their seven-year-old daughter was put through the trauma of seeing her father killing her mother.
This woman was in an abusive relationship. She knew her life was in danger and sought help but received none. According to reports she made several attempts to get a restraining order and was not granted one. Her ex-husband was an esteemed member of the police department and maintaining his high status was apparently more important than saving her life.Tamara Seidle died because the system failed her. How many more women will have to die before we stop talking and start implementing stronger measures to protect them?
The month of October is designated Domestic Violence Awareness month. Domestic Violence is a global issue and as the month come to a close it is very important that everyone continue to be mindful and continue to spread awareness so that one day this vicious cycle of abuse will end.
Each year thousands of women across the world die as a result of domestic violence and other forms of physical abuse. There are thousands who continue to suffer on a daily basis. The fight against domestic violence like the fight against drug addiction often seem like a losing battle but we must do everything in our powers to end this malady.
Domestic violence is the leading cause of death among women. In many countries there are laws to protect women against abuse but sometimes these laws are not enforced. In counties which enforce the laws the fight against domestic violence is still very complex as it is often very difficult to identify someone who is going to snap and kill his partner. Often it is only the person suffering the abuse and those in the household where it is taking place who knows about it.
The violent nature of their partners leave some women trapped in their relationships immobilized by the fear of what will happen should they attempt to leave. These fears are justified as statistics shows that seventy-five percent of women killed by their partners lost their lives after ending their relationships.
The journey to end domestic violence against women must begin with women being aware of thing to look out for in an abuser and take measures to avoid these situations. Abuse of any form is not a normal part of a relationship and is therefore not acceptable.