I came across this news story recently and was appalled and disgusted that
Men in India have so little respect for the women there that they would
see rape as justifiable punishment.
The sisters were sentenced by elders of a village council to be raped
after their brother had an affair and ran off with a married woman.
For women in India rape is a part of their culture and rapes occur daily.
After much protest in India and the intervention of Amnesty International
the village council has since denied making the ruling.
The question still remains, how long will the Government of India
continue to allow women to be raped, abused and murdered without
doing anything to protect them.
We see it all around us, everywhere we turn there are signs of violence and abuse. It is in our homes, in the streets, in our schools, it is even in the churches. Often times it is the person who has earned our trust who turns out to be the abuser. Many of these people hide behind their titles and professions to prey on the innocent’
It is ironic, everyone enters this world a baby, seemingly innocent and in need of nurturing. What make some grow up to be such monsters while others are not? Was it something in their genes, lying there dormant waiting for the right moment to burst forth? Or is it something learned from society, from the environment in which these people grew up?
Many will quickly point out that kids that come from the ghetto are more likely to commit crime. They try to convince you that crime is directly linked to poverty. So the kids from the ghetto are constantly watched, nothing they do go unnoticed and they are always in the news. The man in the jacket and tie who preys on the little girls and the little boys goes unnoticed, no one is watching him. No one expects him to commit such a crime!
Society expect a course of action from one group of people and a different set of actions from another. They refuse to accept the fact that there is good and bad in every single group in society. It is all about people making choices. People have a choice of doing what is right and what is wrong, some choose to do good while others choose to do bad things. The person from the ghetto can choose to be a pedophile, the person from up town in jacket and tie can choose to be a pedophile. Who is likely to be caught first? My guess is that it is going to be the one from the ghetto, after all he is the one who is expected to commit crimes. The point I am trying to make is people will commit crimes no matter from what background they may come from. People need to choose to make the right choices.
The month of October is designated Domestic Violence Awareness month. Domestic Violence is a global issue and as the month come to a close it is very important that everyone continue to be mindful and continue to spread awareness so that one day this vicious cycle of abuse will end.
Each year thousands of women across the world die as a result of domestic violence and other forms of physical abuse. There are thousands who continue to suffer on a daily basis. The fight against domestic violence like the fight against drug addiction often seem like a losing battle but we must do everything in our powers to end this malady.
Domestic violence is the leading cause of death among women. In many countries there are laws to protect women against abuse but sometimes these laws are not enforced. In counties which enforce the laws the fight against domestic violence is still very complex as it is often very difficult to identify someone who is going to snap and kill his partner. Often it is only the person suffering the abuse and those in the household where it is taking place who knows about it.
The violent nature of their partners leave some women trapped in their relationships immobilized by the fear of what will happen should they attempt to leave. These fears are justified as statistics shows that seventy-five percent of women killed by their partners lost their lives after ending their relationships.
The journey to end domestic violence against women must begin with women being aware of thing to look out for in an abuser and take measures to avoid these situations. Abuse of any form is not a normal part of a relationship and is therefore not acceptable.
One Sign That he may be an Abuser “ISOLATION”
A majority of women get into relationships having no idea that their intended partners are abusers. This happens because you cannot tell that a man is an abuser simply by looking at him. He often appears to be your regular nice guy. He puts on the charm. He wines and dine you and make you feel important. He says the right words that you want to hear.
However charming he may appear at first be careful and take nothing for granted. Keep your eyes open for any warning signs that he may not be all that he wants you to believe that he is because he could be an abuser.
One of the first signs to watch for is ‘Isolation’. One of the first things he may try to do is isolate you from your friends and relatives. If he wants you to cut ties with your friends don’t for one moment believe that he is thinking of your best interest. If he tries to keep you away from your family or try to make you choose between your family and him be warned; he is up to no good. He could be setting the stage for abuse!
When he gets you in a position where you are isolated from your family and friends it gives him power over you because when the abuse starts you will find yourself alone with no one to come to your aid and that is exactly what he wants. Do not ignore that first clue!
From the bondage of violence,
Which keeps you enslaved,
Emancipate your mind from hatred,
Which keeps the joy of loving at bay,
Open up your hearts to love,
For where there is love,
There is no hatred,
No hostility, no getting even,
And violence and crime,
Can not survive!
I look at her battered, bruised face,
And she quickly looks away,
“I fell,” she responded, to the unspoken question,
And yet she wouldn’t look my way.
Caught up in a situation of physical abuse
Why did she think she had to stay?
“Leave him,” I told her,
And she pretended not to understand.
“I fell,” she repeated,
Trying to convince me,
Trying to convince herself.
“You don’t deserve this,” I told her,
“He loves me,” she says.
“No,” I tell her,
“Love is not supposed to hurt.”
She nods her head as if agreeing with me,
And yet I wonder,
Does she really understand?
In the US between 1000-1600 women die each year as a result of domestic violence. It is time to take charge and make changes don’t allow yourself to become part of the statistic for 2013. Engage in health and fulfilling relationships. Learn to recognize signs of abuse and remove yourself before you get trapped in a life of physical abuse.
Warning Signs That Your Man Could be an Abuser
Violent Temper and Sudden Mood Changes
If your man display violent behavior and has problems controlling his temper when dealing with others, pay attention. If he was abusive in a previous relationship, this is a warning sign that you should not ignore. You must also note that when he hits you he may try to make light of the situation. A friend of mine once came to me complaining that his girlfriend had left him. I of course asked him why. He said they had gotten into and argument and he accidentally hit her.
As the saying goes there are two sides to every story. His girlfriend who was also a friend of mine told me what really happened. She had gone to a work related function and was late in returning home. He had come in search of her and met her on her way back home. Without any provocation, perhaps just being angry by the fact that she was late, he punched her. The blow left her unconscious and regained consciousness in the hospital. She left him. He could have killed her. She said she wasn’t going back because the next time she might not that lucky. She never took him back, and who could blame her? Yet this is the mistake many women make, going back to their partners after being physically abused by them.
If he is loving and charming when people are around then becomes hostile and abusive when you are alone, do not ignore the changes in his behavior. Abusive men pick the time and place to carry out their abuse. They are often very charming when others are around to observe them, but become a different person behind closed doors. Some abusers seem to have split personality. In public they have this desire to be seen as Mr. Nice guy and it is this nice guy attitude which might charm a woman into falling for him. However when you are alone with him behind closed doors and you see his true character emerging, do not hesitate or second guess your self; end the relationship. The longer you remain the more difficult it will be for you to extricate yourself.
Violence against women and children is a problem faced by countries world-wide. Data shows that up to 70 percent of women experience physical or sexual abuse in their lifetime. The perpetrators are often husbands, intimate partners or someone they know. Violence against women and children is perhaps one of the worst kind of human rights violation that we know today. It is responsible for more deaths than cancer, malaria, traffic accident and war combined. Domestic abuse occurs just about everywhere in society. There is no race, class or socioeconomic barrier. There is no country on this earth which can declare itself free from the scourge of domestic violence.
Physical abuse occurs on a day-to-day basis in many homes but often times only get public attention when someone dies or is seriously injured. In many domestic homicide it is usually a case of murder suicide. Sometimes children in the household lose their lives while others are left orphans. Domestic violence has a lasting negative effect on children. According to UNICEF those who experienced childhood domestic violence are 50 times more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, six times more likely to commit suicide, seventy-four times more likely to commit a serious crime against another and three more times likely to repeat the cycle.
This is a very serious situation which needs addressing. A way must be found to break this vicious cycle. We need to pay close attention to children and how these relationships affect them. They need to understand that physical abuse in a relationship is not healthy and must not be accepted as the norm. A healthy relationship is one in which people care for and treat each other right. It is about loving one another not hurting each other.
Wedding bells are ringing,
you are smiling, she is crying,
Five children, the baby just,
three months old,
How could you marry him,
knowing he was leaving her for you?
Yes I know he asked you to marry him,
but you could have said no,
You could have looked at the four children,
and the baby and tell him not to be heartless,
She stood outside the church crying,
her three-month old baby in her arms,
You walked past her smiling,
You were dressed in white,
but your heart was dark,
Don’t you not know that you reap,
what you sow?
Someday she will be the one smiling,
and you will be the one crying,
when he leaves you for another.