Tag: Relationships

Empowering Women

Relationships

Dealing With Infidelity 

Are you in a relationship where you feel as if you are giving one hundred percent and he is only giving fifty?  That is probably because he is giving another woman that other fifty.  Infidelity is one of the major cause of problems in relationships.  There is a tendency for both of the sexes to cheat and when there is no trust in a relationship it is destined for failure.

As a woman how do you deal with the fact that your partner is cheating on you?  Do you confront him, make him know you won’t stand for it, give him an ultimatum wherein he has to choose you or go out the door?  Or are you so afraid you might lose him that you turn a blind eye, suffer silently and tell yourself that you would rather share him than lose him?  The fact is if you are sharing him with someone else you are half-way on the road to losing him anyway.  What is the point in prolonging your unhappiness?

You might be so afraid of losing him that you try to convince yourself that you can deal with it.   But why lie to yourself?  You lie awake at night wondering where he is, who he is with and what he is doing.  You want to feel his arms about you but the space beside you is empty and you know in your heart that he is with someone else.  You cry yourself to sleep knowing you have to let him go but not having the courage to do it.

Women often feel they need a man even when that man turns out to be a source of unhappiness.  The truth is you don’t need someone in your life who is making you unhappy.  You cannot rely on someone else to make you happy.  You are the author and creator of your happiness.  You cannot leave it in someone else’s hands!

If a man loves, respect and cares about his woman, chances are he will not cheat on her.  If he does not love, care for and respect you then you need to let him go.  There are times in life when you have to compromise but this is not one of those times.  If he is cheating on you and refuses to stop you need to show him the door because you don’t need him anymore than he needs you.  You certainly do not need to put yourself at risk for STD’s especially HIV and AIDS.  If you man is playing around he is not just messing with your heart, he could be messing with your life as well.

In my next post I will tell you about one woman who compromised and paid for it with her life.  Be wise, stay strong , love yourself and accept nothing less than you deserve!  Take control of your relationship today!

Borrowed Time

The youthful years are gifts from God use them wisely. Do not be like the five foolish virgins who had no oil in their lamps and were caught unprepared.

Some young people live life with no thought of tomorrow and are unprepared for life’s realities. It is all good and well to have fun but you need to know who is going to have your back when the fun is over.

A young man will bounce from woman to woman living the life of a player, forming no roots because he doesn’t understand that nothing lasts forever. It is not about how many women you can sleep with but about finding a woman who is going to be there for the long ride and have your back no matter what. When you find such a woman treat her like the queen she is because the day will come when you can’t play those games. The good looks won’t last forever neither will the sex appeal. In fact the day might come when the only thing you can raise is your hand to put food to your mouth. So don’t go on living careless. Let your life take root.

Young woman don’t buy into the hype that you are beautiful and sexy and can have any man so there is no need for you to settle down. You live to be the life of the party. You want to be the one men lust after. Enjoy the ride while you can because it won’t last forever. Before you know it everything start heading south, old age start creeping in and you are left wondering where did all the years go because for the future you didn’t plan.

So young men and women while you are young and having fun remember that the youthful years are a gift from God and you must use them wisely.

Empowering Women

Relationships

Some Abusers are like Chameleons

You cannot just look at a man and tell that he is an abuser. Sometimes they are the most unsuspecting people you will ever meet. It could be that man who is always cordial and greets you with a smile. It can be that deacon who prays the loudest and the longest in church on Sundays. It can be that man who always seems helpful. Most abusers like to be liked and they can be quite charming. It is this charm that often draws women in.

In public he may treat his woman like a queen because he wants people to have a good impression of him. It is behind closed doors that the monster in him rears its ugly head and he becomes a different person. There is  no one for him to impress and he becomes her worst nightmare. He often sets the stage so that people might not even believe her if she tells them what he is truly like. It is easy to get in his grasp but hard to get out because he likes control and he thinks he is clever. The woman has no choice but to seek people who she can trust and plan her escape.

Empowering Women

Relationships

Isolation

One of the signs to look for that might serve as an indication that your man may be setting you up for abuse is isolation. A man who loves you and have your best interest at heart will not force you to choose between him and your friends or your family. If he does this it is for an ulterior motive.

I recall the abusive boyfriend of a friend bragging to me that her family was telling her to leave him but she wouldn’t. He said that she didn’t care about her family, that she loved him and would do anything he told her to do. He was gloating….so proud of himself. 

This is the mindset of some abusers, they want you all to themselves so that you are cut off from both family and friends. When he starts to abuse you there is often no one left for you to turn to. Women empower yourselves, watch out for these signs and don’t ignore the red flags.

Empowering Women

Keep the Conversation Going

An Open Letter to Men
From Women Against Domestic Violence
Dear Men:
It is with tears in our eyes and fear for our lives that we pen this note to you. Domestic violence has taken the lives of many of our sisters leaving many of our homes broken and our children motherless. Men we need you to understand that we are not the enemy so stop treating us like one. We give to you our love, our passion, our understanding and compassion, we trust you with our lives and all we ask is that you reciprocate and treat us right. Don’t see our love for you as a weakness, don’t leave us with cuts and bruises, don’t crush out our joy and leave us broken. You see men you need to understand that love is not supposed to hurt. If your love is causing your woman hurt then it means that you are doing something wrong. Any boy can hurt a woman but it takes a man to make her happy. So the next time you raise your hand to hit a woman stop and ask yourself am I a boy or am I a man. Treat women with love and respect….Be A Man!

Empowering Women

Relationships

Never Get Involved With a Married Man

You would think that the fact that he is married would be a deterrent but despite this a lot of women get involved with married men and hang on to the hope that one day he will leave his wife.

Many women fall victims to the lie told to them by these men. Often times a man will make his wife out to be the problem in the relationship and offer the other woman hope that he will get a divorce. Some women are foolish enough to spend years waiting for him to be free, not grasping the fact that he has no intention of leaving home. Even if he does leave home what guarantee do you have that he wont do to you what he did to her. If he is married he is off limit so leave him alone.

Empowering Women

Does He Have Multiple Baby Mothers

Ladies this is the year that we have to get real about relationships and ensure that we take the right path and make the right decisions.

A man with multiple baby mothers is probably a mover. Often times he is afraid of the responsibility of fatherhood so he keeps moving on once a child gets in the picture. A man like that rarely makes commitments to any woman and often times he is never there for his children.

This is clearly the type of man who you should stay away from. If you are unfortunate enough to fall under his spell make sure you don’t end up being another of his baby mama, unless of course you are prepared to raise your child alone. Don’t fool yourself into believing that you can change him because these kind of men often live this lifestyle until life bites them in the ass. Don’t waste your time with someone like this.

Empowering Women

Relationships

Are you Facing Emotional Abuse?

We have all heard the saying “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.” But let’s face it we all know this is not true. There is  nothing more hurtful than to have someone who you love put you down with his words, insults you and say hurtful words that makes you feel worthless.

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Many women suffer emotional abuse from their partners. A man will say hurtful things to a woman, which can literally tear her apart, break her down and make her feel as if she is not worthy of his love. Often he erodes her self-esteem and little by little she begins to think less of herself.

One thing ever woman must understand is that love is not supposed to hurt. If he hurts you emotionally then his kind of love is  not right for you. Be true to yourself and walk away because you deserve better.

image credit Clipart Kid

Empowering Women

Relationships

Does he Meet Your Expectations

Does the man you are dating have the attributes that you are seeking in a partner. Is he considerate or affectionate and does he seem trustworthy. Does he have a plan or a vision   for the future. Is he the type who is just  drifter, living for the moment with no thought about tomorrow….yes those types exist.

Is he someone who respects women or does he see women as an acquisition and boasts about his past conquests. Do you share the same values or interests. Do you find him easy to talk to and does he engage in meaningful conversations?

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Sometimes at the start of a relationship sparks will fly and fires may be ignited but if you are not compatible it burns out quickly and the fire dies. So to save yourself heartache evaluate the facts in front of you and decide if he is someone you want to take a chance with.

Empowering Women

Relationships

How Well do You Know Him? Image result for free clipart images of women 

Sometime women will get in  serious relationships without know much about the men. This can leave a woman at a disadvantage because sometimes the man is either married or he is involved in another relationship.

Before you get too deeply involved with him get to know as much about him as you possibly can. Your life and your future is not something that you should take chances with. Find out where he lives and what kind of person he is in his community, does he have a bad reputation or is he a respectful citizen. When starting a relationship take it, get to know something about him and then decide if this is the person you want to invest your time and energy in.

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Remember that all that glitters is not gold and it is better to play it safe rather than end up being sorry and hurt.