The Thigh Gap Obsession

Society in general and the media in particular have a profound impact on the way people live their lives. Some people depend entirely on others to dictate to them what is wrong and what is right. For example society try to impose on people the idea of what a right body type is. Where it involves people who lack confidence about the way they look or dislike the body they are in this may impact more seriously on them than others.

The thigh gap has gained popularity among young women some of whom perhaps lack confidence in their appearance. Some of these women are practically starving themselves so they get so thin that their thighs do not touch when they stand. This is the coveted thigh gap. Many anorexic looking images are floating around on the internet of those who have achieved the thigh gap. One can only hope that these women do not develop serious health issues.

It is unfortunate and sad that so many young women lack self-confidence and are so ready to conform to the views of others. I say to these women create your own reality and stop looking to others for validation. If someone’s idea of sexy is making herself so thin that she acquires a thigh gap, it does not have to be yours. Do not live your life based on the conviction of another person because what makes that person happy will not necessarily make you happy.

Happiness comes from within and you can embark on the journey for happiness by first loving yourself and the body you are in. Be mindful that no one is perfect; we all have flaws. Be aware also that we all have the ability to form our own judgement and make our own decisions. Stop relying on others to make those choices and decisions. God made us all unique so stop trying to be a duplicate of someone else and embrace your uniqueness.

Explosion in Harlem

Two buildings collapsed in Harlem on Wednesday after an explosion and fire. Authorities say there were reports of a gas leak shortly before the blast.

My heart goes out to those who lost loved ones in the explosion and buildings collapsing in Harlem on Wednesday.  To date seven are confirmed dead and many others are still missing. Many people have lost their homes in this tragic incident. I do hope the survivors will find the strength and the courage they need  to pick up the pieces and start  over.   

Is Bossy the Right B Word to Ban?

I find it rather interesting that there is now a campaign afoot to ban the word “Bossy” as a way of empowering young girls. Bossy is a word  used to describe a behavior that someone displays. Whether we like it or not there are bossy men and women in society and banning a word will not change this. It is almost like saying if we ban the word “Bully” there will be less bullies.

It is important that we be educated about the word “Bossy” and be able to recognize this kind of behavior so that the word is not used in the wrong context. The word is not the problem; the real issue is the circumstances in which use the word.

Bossy is a word that every girl needs to know. They should be able to recognize bossy behavior the moment they see it  displayed. In life they are going to encounter people who will try to push their opinions and ideals upon them. They need to be able to differentiate between a boss or a supervisor or other people in their lives who are reasonable from the ones who are just plain bossy.

For young girls and women in general it is of utmost importance to be able to recognize “Bossy” in relationships. When you know what bossy is and can spot it easily it will give you more power.   When a partner starts to  make every decision for  you, you will not get confused,  think it’s okay and  accept bossiness for love. When he tries to control every aspect of your daily life and tells you he is doing it out of concern and love for you, you are not blinded to the fact that this is him being bossy. Too often young girls and women get into relationships and are not aware that their partners are not only bossy but controlling. When they become aware it is often too late.

If we are serious about empowering young girls we must teach them the importance of having self-confidence and self-respect. Teach them to aim high, be ambitious and know their self-worth. Teach them that it is not what they are called but what they answer to that matters.

If we want to ban a word let it be the word that is used almost on a every day basis to put women down. It you believe when girls get into a fight on the playground they call each other “bossy” then you must be living on another planet in a different century. When school girls get into fights on the bus do you seriously think they call each other bossy? When females get into altercations in the street do you think they call each other bossy? When a man wants to put his woman down, do you think he calls her bossy?

When a girl, woman or man wants to make a female feel bad bossy is not the word they reach for. They use a word that cuts deep, a word that portrays that person as a low, worthless and despicable human being. The dictionary give various meaning to this word some of which are; the female of the dog, a lewd or immoral woman, something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant. If we really want to ban a word, a word that  put women down a word that does nothing to empower women, I say we save “bossy” and banBitch“.

Celebrating Black History Month

Remembering Trayvon Martin

Today marks the second anniversary of the shooting death of Trayvon Martin. The seventeen year old  was killed on February 26, 2012 while on his way home. The loss of a child is never easy and when there is no justice for the life that was taken it makes the pain even more profound. However the family can take comfort in knowing that while man denied him justice in God they will get justice. Today we remember Trayvon.

Remembrance Poem

I thought of you with love today
but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday,
and the day before that too.
I think of you in silence,
I often speak your name.
All I have is memories,
and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake,
with which I’ll never part.
God has you in his keeping,
I have you in my heart !!!
Forever and Always.

R.I.P. Trayyon!!

Celebrating Black History Month

           Troy Davis

Is Equality Just a Figment of our Imagination?

Could it be that we have become complacent and have we allowed ourselves to be lured by a false sense of equality? We must wake up and realize that the struggle for equality among the races is far from over. There is still prejudice in society.

There are some questions that still need answering. Was it prejudice or justice that allowed a man to kill a black unarmed teen and walk free?  Was it prejudice or justice at play when a man was found guilty of attempted murder for the youths he did not kill and yet not guilty for the one whose life he took?  Was it prejudice or justice that allowed a judge to give a rich white boy ten years probation after he was found guilty of killing four people while driving under the influence?

Was it prejudice of justice that allowed the state of Georgia to execute Troy Davis although there was reasonable doubt that he committed the crime  they executed him for. Davis was executed on September 21, 2011 for the shooting death of a police officer. His story was one that captured the attention of the world and brought into question the fairness of the justice system.

There were grave doubts about Davis’s guilt. OF the nine people who testified at his trial seven of them  recanted their stories. One man even confessed he had no idea who killed the officer. All of this put together should have been cause for reasonable doubt. In this case we are still not sure if guilty beyond reasonable doubt was ever taken into consideration.

Human rights groups begged for a stay of execution. The former President Jimmy Carter and even Pope Benedict XVI asked for clemency but their pleas fell on deaf ears.  The result is that an innocent man may have lost his life.  Let us not become complacent and forget the ones who are gone. Let us keep Trayvon Martin, Troy Davis and Jordan Davis in our memories.

God deemed that all men are created equally, but man have decided otherwise. If we have a system in place that favors one race over another there will never be equality and there will never be justice.

Blog Award

Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

A big thank you to petrel41  of Dear Kitty. Some blog for nominating the MARVA SEATON BLOG  for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award.

The rules are as follows:

Provide a link to and thank the blogger who nominated you for the award.

Answer 10 question

Nominate 10-12 Blogs that you find a joy to read

Provide links to the nominated blogs and kindly let the recipients know you have nominated then.

Include the award logo within your blog post.

Questions

Your favorite color …. Blue

Your favorite animal …. Dog

Your favorite non-alcoholic drink …. Orange juice

Facebook or Twitter …. Facebook

Do you prefer getting or giving presents …. Giving

Your favorite pattern …. Chessboard

Your favorite day of the week …. Friday

Your favorite flower …. Rose

What is your passion …. Writing

My Nominees are:

granonine

Amy

Clanmother

shawnrjones12

Shawn L. Bird

Reading Pleasure

Press “M” for Menopause

Minister Gertrude Ferguson – Founder & CEO- Enough Tribulations

Forget the Viagra…Pass me a Carrot!

LADYROMP

Children Lunches Taken Away and Dumped

On Tuesday of last week about 40 students of Uintah Elementary School had their lunches taken away from them because their was not enough money in their accounts to cover the cost of the lunches. This was done during checkout in front of their friends and other students. It was both embarrassing and humiliating for the students involved. The incident left many parents upset and drew nation wide attention.

A cafeteria manager was sent on leave and the Salt Lake City School District is investing the matter.

I am commenting on this incident because the thing that really puzzles me is the fact that the lunches were thrown away and the children given a snack of fruits and milk as an alternative. The question one might ask is why deny someone food and then take that same food and throw it in the garbage? The school has a policy in place whereby lunches cannot be served twice, so before the lunches were taken from those children they knew it would be thrown away. What is the logic behind this?

I do hope that good sense prevail and that something of this nature never happens again.

The Knock Out Game

There is a growing dangerous trend where people are getting hurt in what is known as ‘The Knockout Game’  It is spreading across the Sates and this criminal act is endangering the lives of people. The attackers are walking up to strangers and punch them just for fun. They punch the victim hard enough to knock him or her out.

There have been reports of these attacks  in Brooklyn, Washington DC and New Jersey.  Its been reported that a man in New Jersey had seizures and died after he was punched.

Hurting people is not a game and I hope those perpetrating these acts will come to their senses and stop this dangerous activity. Stop the madness before more people are seriously hurt.

Save Thanksgiving

On Thursday we will celebrate Thanksgiving, one of the most look forward to holidays in America.  Already many are preparing the holiday menu.  On some tables there will be the traditional turkey, golden brown from the oven, ham, mashed potatoes, or potato salad and for those of Caribbean descent there will probably be jerked chicken, curried goat and goat water, rice and peas, carrot cake and sweet potato pudding. 

It is a day to give thanks to God for his many blessing and to get together with families and celebrate.  Many will travel thousands of miles to be with their loved ones and they will create memories. However there are some people who will not get the chance to enjoy this momentous occasion as their employers require them to be at work on Thanksgiving.  

There are 365 days in a year but giving their workers the day off to celebrate with their families is apparently too much of  a sacrifice for many businesses to make.  Kmart for example open its doors at 6 a. m. on Thanks giving day.  Wal-Mart opens all day but sales begin at 6 p. m.   Toys R Us opens at 5 p.m.  Best Buy 6 p. m.  JCPenny, Macy’s, Target, Sears and Staples all open at 8 p.m.   Thanksgiving is now being termed as Grey Thursday and if we are not careful the true meaning will be lost and sales will become the order of the day.

Maybe it is time to follow the examples of three states which ban shopping of Thanksgiving.  These states are Rhode Island, Maine and Massachusetts.   As consumers we have the power to stop the growing trend of businesses opening on Thanksgiving day by boycotting those who do.  Consumers going out to shop will force those businesses to stay closed.

A big Thumbs up to  Nordstrom, TJ Maxx, Costco, Burlington Coat Factory and Marshall’s who will all remain closed on Thanksgiving.  We respect and appreciate the decision you have all made in remaining closed.  

For each and everyone I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving and may the Good Lord bless you all.

Candy Crush V Swagbucks

My dear sweet Candy Crush You know I love you so
We have spent so much time together,
It pains my heart that I have to let you know,
I have found a new best friend,
Swagbucks is his name.
I love crushing candies but Swagbucks has got me hooked,
Swagbuck pays me to watch videos, take surveys and search,
These activities put more money in my purse.
Candy I am not a gold digger but who couldn’t use the extra cash?
I wont totally forget you, I will see you from time to time,
But I will be spending most of my time with Swagbucks,
My new best friend!