I close my eyes and the memories come rushing back
yours was the perfect smile. You always said the right words
that I wanted to hear. I used to welcome your warm embrace,
Now I cringe at your touch. How did it get this far?
Too many apologies, too many I forgive you
too many bruises that I have to hide
How did it get this far?
If you ask some women why they stay in an abusive relationship, many will say: “I love him. He has this power over me. I don’t have the strength to leave him. He is not ao bad when he isn’t angry. He makes me feel loved.”
The problem many women struggle with, is self-love. Ok, so you love him, I get that. But how much do you love yourself? Do you love yourself enough to say I will not allow a man to put his hands on me in an abusive manner? Does he love you enough to know he should protect you and not hurt you?
In this scourge where many women are dying, leaving may be the only solution to staying alive. Are you saying you do not possess the strength to live? No man deserves losing your life over. If you love your life as much as you love him, save yourself!
Sadly this is the story of so many women.
Someone asked me if I knew you
a million memories flashed through my mind
I just smiled and said I used to!
Abusive men are like chameleons, you never know whether you are going or coming with them. They can be sweet one moment and violent the next. When a partner hits you, no matter how remorseful they are afterwards just know that it won’t be the last time he hits you.
Accept his apology but do not remain in the same situation where he can do it again. If he has no control of over his anger that is a red flag that you shouldn’t stay. The moment he strikes you is the moment you need to leave. Don’t give an abusive partner a second chance; just go.
In many abusive relationships the abuse doesn’t start right away. In fact when he is pursuing you he may be so charming that you feel you have won a prize. It is when he gets comfortable with you and he believes he has you hooked that you may begin to see his true colors.
If he objects to you having a relationship with your former friends and even family members, he may not have your best interest at heart. Abusers love to have their victims isolated. That way when he begins to abuse you there is no one for you to turn to.
If he hits you, tells you he is sorry and it won’t happen again, do not believe him. If he couldn’t control his anger that time what’s to stop him from losing control again? Each time you forgive him you give him more power over you. Slowly over time he will groom you to accept abuse in the relationship.
Times have changed. As women we have evolved. Gone are the days when women were expected to stay home, be good wives and bear children. Women are now go-getters forging the way and making strides in almost every area of society.
However we still have women who believe it is a man’s job to take care of them and make them happy. This is not a good idea. A relationship should never be about one person’s total dependence on another but rather about two people working together to create something great.
Dependence is one of the key factors that many women become trapped in unhappy and abusive relationships. Even if they have the will to leave, inability to finance themselves keep them trapped. Whether it is a marriage or a relationship maintain your independence. It will be one of the best decisions you have ever made
Darkness will pass, a new day will dawn
Nothing lasts forever, not even the problems
you face in life. They won’t last forever
There is hope for a brighter day!
Society has one of the greatest influence on people and so many feel they need to do just about anything to fit in. Social media perhaps has the greatest impact on how women view themselves amd the image they project. Nowadays many women equate nakedness to sexiness. If you have to expose your body in order to feel attractive it says a lot about how you view yourself as an individual and more importantly as a woman. You are more than an object, you are so much more than just a sex symbol. Treat yourself like royalty.
Yesterday I heard the heartrending story of a father who jumped in front of a moving train while holding his young daughter. He was instantly killed. Miraculously, the child survived and was able to crawl from under the train to good samaritans who took her to safety. The deceased man was said to be a good father, but he suffered from depression.
I cannot judge this man, clearly his thought process was not rational when he jumped. Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed about. In many cases medication can help. Do not keep it to yourself see a professional get help. You might not get a cure but you can get the help you need to live a normal and fulfilling life. Don’t suffer in silence. Get help.
Author Marva Seaton 
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