There is a new revolution, the silence has been broken, women are speaking out. Our voices are powerful. Already we are seeing results.
Let us do the same for domestic violence. End the silence, speak up. Don’t protect the image of your abuser; protect your life. Expose abusers, stand up and fight.
The most powerful weapon a woman has is her voice to speak out against injustice, disrespect and abuse of women. Only by speaking out can we create positive change.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Let’s get the conversation going.
An Open Letter to Men
From Women Against Domestic Violence
It is with tears in our eyes and fear for our lives that we pen this note to you. Domestic violence has taken the lives of many of our sisters leaving many of our homes broken and our children motherless.
Men we need you to understand that we are not the enemy so stop treating us like one. We give to you our love, our passion, our understanding and compassion, we trust you with our lives and all we ask is that you reciprocate and treat us right. Don’t see our love for you as a weakness, don’t leave us with cuts and bruises, don’t crush out our joy and leave us broken.
Men you need to understand that love is not supposed to hurt. If your love is causing your woman hurt then it means that you are doing something wrong. Any boy can hurt a woman but it takes a man to make her happy. So the next time you raise your hand to hit a woman stop and ask yourself am I a boy or am I a man. Treat women with love and respect….Be A Man!
October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. Let us take a moment to reflect on the women who have lost their lives to domestic violence. Most of us know at least one person who was a victim of domestic violence.
As I reflect, a former classmate immediately comes to mind. She was a sweet beautiful soul who lost her life in her early twenties. She was in a relationship and broke up with the guy. Her ex got back in contact with her and asked her to meet him to talk things over; they had a child together.
Naively she went with him to a hotel room where her forced her to drink poison and later checked out leaving her dead body behind. This promising young woman’s life ended before it even began. She was the last person I expected to die that way. Her ex was charged and convicted for her murder.
As you reflect think of anyone know who is presently in an abusive relationship and encourage them to seek help.
In certain cultures women are denied the right to choose their life partners and any defiance on their part can caused them to be murdered by their own family. One of the most horrendous cases of Honor Killing took place on December 7, 2012 when 22 year-old Nilofar Bibi was publicly beheaded by her own brother in Kolkata, India.
Bibi was only fourteen years old when she left home in an arranged marriage. She alleged that she was tortured by her in-laws and returned to her parent but disappeared days later. Her brother Mehtab Alam 29 at the time found his sister living with an old boyfriend. He stormed into the house and dragged Bibi into the street in broad daylight.
On that fateful day passersby watched in horror as he cut off his sister’s head saying that she had sinned and had to be punished. He left his sister’s body lying in a pool of blood on the road and calmly walked to the police station with her head in his hand to surrender himself. At the station he placed his sister’s head and the butcher knife he had used to decapitate her on the table in front of the police officer. It was later reported that the family expressed support for Alam saying they were proud he upheld the family honor.
Years later nothing has changed and women continue to be murdered in the name of family honor.
Ladies looking out for yourself is very important as others may not always be there to protect you. The biggest weapon that leaves women trapped in relationships is FEAR. Now this FEAR does not come obout overnight. Overtime an abusive partner will groom you to FEAR him so it is important to recognize signs of intimidation however subtle. If you feel that he will hurt you even if he hasn’t laid a hand on you listen to your intuition and tread carefully. You cannot build a healthy relationship with someone that you are afraid of so if he tries to intimidate you walk away.
One of the signs to look for that might serve as an indication that your man may be setting you up for abuse is isolation. A man who loves you and have your best interest at heart will not force you to choose between him and your friends or your family. If he does this it is for an ulterior motive.
I recall the abusive boyfriend of a friend bragging to me that her family was telling her to leave him but she wouldn’t. He said that she didn’t care about her family, that she loved him and would do anything he told her to do. He was gloating….so proud of himself.
This is the mindset of some abusers, they want you all to themselves so that you are cut off from both family and friends. When he starts to abuse you there is often no one left for you to turn to. Women empower yourselves, watch out for these signs and don’t ignore the red flags.
There is an old saying that the more things change the more they remain the same. Many women know this reality only too well. The abuse and disrespect of women have gone unchanged throughout the centuries dispte talks of ending abuse and protecting women.
It is time for self empowerment and for women to recognize some of the signs that indicate you may be heading for disaster. An important element of any relationship is RESPECT. A man who respect his woman will not make her feel as if she is unimportant and unworthy of his love. If you start off the relationship feeling that you are not respected enough don’t waste your time and energy trying to make him respect you. It is a bad foot to start out on and a serious indication that it will not work out.
You cannot force a person to respect you but you can refuse to be disrespected. Empower youself with the knowledge that you derseve better and you will not settle for less.
A twenty-two-year old man has been arrested in the death of a two year old girl in Oklahoma City. The child was taken to hospital after she was found not breathing. Examinations revealed that she had been sexually assaulted. The child suffered injuries to a number of internal organs and lost a lot of blood. The man is held without bail on charges of rape and murder. Reads like a horror story doesn’t it, but what I find even more disturbing is that according to the police the mother of the child refused to give them a description of the man who happens to be her boyfriend. The report also stated that the sheets were stripped off the child’s bed; the room vacuumed and wet laundry found in the washer. Was this an attempt of a cover up? How horrible for a toddler to have to die this way. Why is there so much evil in the world?
New Jersey Cop Kills Ex-wife
Image credit patch.com
Each year we talk about protecting women from abuse and call for an end to domestic violence but how much of this is just lip service? Is everything being done to protect women?
If we take a look at what happened to fifty-one year-old Tamara Seidle it seems like the answer is no. Seidle was shot to death by her ex-husband who incidentally is a police Sgt. Their seven-year-old daughter was put through the trauma of seeing her father killing her mother.
This woman was in an abusive relationship. She knew her life was in danger and sought help but received none. According to reports she made several attempts to get a restraining order and was not granted one. Her ex-husband was an esteemed member of the police department and maintaining his high status was apparently more important than saving her life.Tamara Seidle died because the system failed her. How many more women will have to die before we stop talking and start implementing stronger measures to protect them?