Category: Stop Abuse of Women

Stop Abuse of Women

The world is full of chaos and people with twisted minds.  In some countries the laws that ought to be enforced are ignored and people impose other rules to satisfy themselves.  They have rules which make it acceptable for a man to torture and kill a woman.  On the other hand if a woman refuses to comply to a fixed marriage or wear clothes considered as being inappropriate, it is seen as a sin for which she is punished.
In some cultures women are seen as replaceable commodities.  There is no value placed on the life of the woman.  She is looked upon as being inferior to her male counterpart and is treated accordingly.  Brothers think nothing of killing their sisters to uphold what they call ‘the family honor‘   The question is, what kind of honor does a murderer bring to any family?  What is honorable about killing your own sister?
Love to these people mean nothing and family honor means everything.  It is a kind of sick twisted mentality.  They do not understand the concept that unity is strength and that a family divided against itself will come to naught.  They are so busy trying to protect their public image that they are blinded to the things that should be more important, that of a brother looking out for his sister and families uniting to protect family members.
The fact that brothers see nothing wrong with killing their sisters highlight the fact that in these societies men in general have very little respect for the lives of women and the laws if there are any is not sufficiently implemented to be a deterrent.
If women in these countries should turn the tables and say enough is enough and start to seek their own justice, I wonder if the laws will then be implemented or will they be able to get away with committing atrocities against men in the same manner that men commit atrocities against women? Interesting thought isn’t it?  What do you thing?

 

Stop Abuse Of Women

Honor Killings

 

The horrors of honor killings continues.  Late last year a seventeen year old Pakistan girl miraculously cheated death.  Her attacker was her own brother.  Gul Meena life of misery began at the age of twelve when she was married off to a man old enough to be her grandfather.

She says, “My husband was sixty.  Everyday he would beat me.  I would cry and beg him to stop, but he kept on beating me.”  Her family was not very supportive.  “My family would hit me when I complain,” she said.  “They told me you belong in your husband’s house, it is your life.

After five years of abusive Gul Meena met a young Afghan man and finally found the courage to leave her abusive husband in Pakistan.  In November 2012 she packed some of her things and they made their was across the border to the city of Jalalabad in Afghanistan.  She knew what she was doing was dangerous.  Running away from her husband with another man was committing the ultimate sin.   But she was tired of the life she was living.

“I tried to kill myself with poison several times but it didn’t work,” she said.  “I hated my life.  I had to escape.

Days later her older brother tracked them down.  Using an ax he hacked to death Gul Meena’s friend and then struck her fifteen times cutting open her face head and other parts of her body.  Believing that she was dead he escaped back to Pakistan.  The authorities are yet to catch him and his family denies that he tried to kill his sister.

Passersby hearing the commotion discovered Gul lying in a pool of blood in bed and rushed her to the Emergency Department of Nangarhar Regional Medical Centre.  Part of her brain was hanging out of her skull.  Neurosurgeon Zamiruddin Khalid held out little hope that she would survive.  She had lost a lot of blood and her injuries were horrific.  But by some act of God she defeated death and survived.

Even then her troubles were not over; she had received life-saving treatment from doctors and staff at the hospital but she had no one to care for her on the outside.  Gul had been disowned by her family and despite the government and authorities knowing that she was alive and receiving care at the hospital, they wanted nothing to do with her due to the stigma and circumstances surrounding her attack.

She stayed in the hospital for two months thanks to the generosity of doctors who donated money to pay for her medicine.  Finally the organization Women for Afghan women were informed of her situation. They took her in, transporting her back to a shelter in Kabul to give her the love and care she so badly needed.

Gul Meena is one of the thousands of women living in shelters across Afghanistan.  Many of them are victims of attempted honor killings.

Stop Abuse of Women

Punished for Being Beautiful
She is beautiful and she is so afraid,
In a perfect world her beauty would be a blessing,
But in her world it is something of a curse.
Boys will look at her,
Men will lust after her,
And for this she is punished.
Hot, searing iron is thrust into her breasts,
Her womanhood has to be disguised,
She is told It is for her own protection.
She carries the horror of this torture in her heart,
She wonders who will protect her,
From the pain of the hot iron being thrust into her breasts.
Who will protect her from the psychological scars
And from the physical pain,
Who will protect her from the distress
When she looks in the mirror and sees
Her scarred disfigured breasts.
She cries silently into her pillow
And she wonders is her pain will ever end.

 

Stop Abuse of Women

Bride Burning

Violence against women takes various forms, from Acid Throwing, Female Genital Mutilation, to Torture and Murder.  One of the most heinous of these crimes is Bride Burning.  It is practiced in India, Pakistan and Bangladesh.  The crime is often staged to appear as an accident or suicide.  The victims are usually newly married women whose parents do not have the money to pay off the husband‘s dowry requirements.  The perpetrators are usually the husband’s family or the husband himself. 
Women in these countries do not get much support from their male counterpart.  The husband’s family will harass, threaten and sometimes kill the bride if her family cannot come up with the money or gifts .  With the new wife out-of-the-way , the husband is free to remarry and get a new dowry from his new bride.  In 2010 there were 8391 reported cases of dowry deaths in India alone.
In Pakistan although divorce is possible, it is claimed that some families decide instead to murder unwanted wives.  In most cases of bride burning the woman is doused with kerosene, the helpless defenseless woman is then set on fire and is burned alive.  The deaths are often reported as accidents.  In many cases the police are told the victim was killed by an exploding stove and there is no prosecution. They opt for burning because the chances of prosecution is less.
Bride burning is a wicked, barbaric act.  It is one of the most gruesome forms of human rights violation.

Stop Abuse of Women

Honor Killings

An honor killing is the killing of a member of a family or social group by other members who believe that the victim has brought dishonor upon the family or the community.  In countries such as India where there is little respect for the lives of women, a woman can be killed for simple things such as dressing in a manner which is deemed in appropriate, wanting to terminate or prevent an arranged marriage, desiring to marry by her own choice or engaging in sex outside of marriage.
Women’s rights activists say India’s police are not doing enough to tackle the problem of ‘honor killings’.  Many times the police do not take complaints by the victims seriously.  They do not provide protection for the victims and this boosts the morale of the culprits; they take the law into their own hands.
What is ironic is that simple things that women do are considered sins but the murdering of women is not.  Apparently in the eyes of these perpetrators killing is okay if the victim is a woman.
 The public beheading of a woman by his brother in Kolkata last December highlights the lack  of respect for the lives of women in India.  This incident on December 7, 2012, was another honor killing.  Nilofar Bibi 22, at the time of her death was only fourteen years old when she left home in an arranged marriage.  Bibi alleged that she was tortured by her in-laws and returned to her parents on November 28 but disappeared days later.
Her brother Mehtab Alam 29, found his sister living with an old boyfriend.  He stormed into the house and dragged Bibi into the street in broad daylight.  Passersby watched in horror as he cut off his sister’s head while saying  she had sinned  and had to be punished.  He left his sister’s body in a pool of blood on the road and calmly walked to the police station with her head in his hand to surrender himself.  He walked into the police station and placed the head of his sister and the butcher knife he used to decapitate her on a table in front of the police officer.
The sibling’s family expressed support for Alam saying they were proud he upheld their honor.
I am at a loss to understand what honor this young man upheld.  Honor is protecting and defending the women in your family.  Honor is defending and protecting your sister when the man who  should love and protect her is abusing her.  There is nothing honorable about killing a defenseless woman especially a member of your own family – your sister.  It is a shameful and dishonorable act which must be condemned.  There can be no honor in taking a human life.

Stop Abuse of Women

Acid Attacks in Pakistan
One of the most horrifying forms of gender-based violence in Pakistan is acid throwing, usually sulphuric acid is used.  The victims are mainly women.  The acid is used with malicious intent to take revenge, disfigure and harm the person.
Every year many women in Pakistan fall victims of brutal acid attacks.  The Acid Survivor Foundation of Pakistan deals with 100 cases a year but estimates the real number of people affected to be far higher.  The attacks are frequently linked to domestic violence or revenge by rejected men.  Some men ego will not allow them to accept rejection  and when their advances are spurned they retaliate by throwing acid at the woman.
The attacks are made possible by the easy availability of cheap acids as cleaning fluid or for use in the cotton industry.  The perpetrator intention is not to kill the victim, but to make them suffer forever.  An acid attack is a terrifying experience.  Acid melts human flesh and even bones.  It causes excruciating pain and terror.  The victims are left mutilated and scarred for the rest of their lives.  Some suffer permanent disabilities such as blindness and some victims have died as a result of their injuries.
In December 2011, the Acid Survivor Foundation-Pakistan, with support from the UK’s Department for International Development, led a campaign, which resulted in the unanimous passage of the Criminal Law Amendment Act 2011.  The Criminal Law Amendment Act 2011 made acid and burn violence a crime against the state and imposed a fine of one million Pakistani rupees, along with a punishment of minimum seven years to lifetime imprisonment, for the crime of acid throwing.
Despite the new laws, acid throwing continue to take place.
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Stop Breast Ironing

Young girls in many countries around the world suffer greatly each year from abuse of one form or another.  What is ironic is that in many instances adults believe that what they do is in the best interest of the girls.

There is Female Genital mutilation; a barbaric act of which for most part entail partial of full removal of a woman’s clitoris.  Sex for such a woman, instead of being an expression of love between two people can become a source of pain which she has to endure.  The procedure done without anesthetic and often times without using sterile instruments may result in fatal hemorrhaging or the  risks of serious infections.  This procedure does not benefit women in any way.  It is done to suppress a girl’s sexual feelings, to prevent her from being promiscuous, maintain her virginity until marriage and uphold the family honor.  Upholding the family honor is more important than the health and happiness of girls in countries that practices female genital mutilation.

In some countries there is forced child marriages which basically sentences young girls to a life of misery.  Most live their life in poverty. They are denied educational opportunities, and suffer from poor health, sexual and other forms of abuse. Most of them spend their lives trapped in loveless marriages with men who are often strangers.

 Parents say they do it to protect the girls.  Her husband will protect her from getting raped and he will take care of her.  If this is so, why are there so many horror stories?  The man who they feel will protect, often is the one who her rapist.  She is made to work like a hired help and suffers abuse not only at the hands of her husband but from her in-laws as well.  Although parents are aware of what is happening they continue to marry off their underage daughters because it is never about what the girls want for their lives.  Their happiness is not taken into consideration.  It is about culture and traditions and maintaining the family honor.

What is very worrisome is the fact that the list of abuses against girls and women get longer the deeper you delve.  In the Cameroon their form of abuse is  breast ironing. This particular form of abuse is shrouded in secrecy, not many want to talk about it, but behind closed doors Cameroon girls are suffering torture at the hands of their own mothers.  Breast ironing is done to stop the development of breasts and delay any sign that a girl is developing into an adult. 

Cameroon mothers say they iron their daughters breast to protect them from sexual harassment and rape, and to prevent early pregnancy that would tarnish the family name.. They also want their daughters to pursue an education rather than be forced into an early marriage.

They use objects such as grinding stones, coconut shells, leaves, ladles, spatulas and hammers heated over burning coal.  The hot object is used to press and massage the breasts to flatten them to stop their development.  This they feel will make the girls less attractive to boys and men.

Breast ironing is extremely painful and can cause tissue damage.  There are no medical studies on its effects but medical experts warn that it might contribute towards breast cancer and perhaps interfere with breast-feeding later.  Other possible side effects include breast infections, the formation of abscesses and malformed breasts.  It can lead to permanent damage to the milk ducts and even complete disappearance of one or both breasts.  The girls end up with marks, wrinkles and black spots on their breasts.

 Breast ironing violates the fundamental rights of girls and women – the right to health, physical integrity and freedom from torture.  It does not prevent premarital pregnancy which is on the rise,  accounting for 30% of pregnancies according to local health workers.  This is due to a lack of sex education.  The sex talk and not torture will be more beneficial to Cameroon girls.

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Say No to Child Brides

Child Brides in Niger

She is just eleven years old, she has yet to get her first period and already she is  a wife.  Adulthood is forced upon her.  She is not prepared for this physically, mentally or emotionally.  Her hopes and dreams of staying in school and getting an education is shattered.  Her dreams does not matter nor does her happiness.  Her parents have received a dowry and now she is married to a man older than her father.  Still a child, afraid and confused knowing nothing about sex or marriage and the duties of a wife, she will be forced to have sexual intercourse with a grown man.  She will suffer the agony of having her childhood stolen from her and suffer even more through pregnancy and childbirth and there is a possibility that she will die giving birth.
Stripped of her freedom she lives at the mercy of her husband and in-laws.  She is often treated like a domestic slave, ill treated by her in-laws and raped by her husband if she resist his advances for sex.  Her tears goes unnoticed, her eyes mirrors her pain.  For her there is little hope, she has nothing to smile about, all she can do is try and endure the life that has been forced upon her.  All of this seems like something from a movie, but it is not, it is real.  It is the daily life of child brides around the world.  In cultures of ignorance and poverty the children suffers.  One such place is Niger
Niger has one of the highest rate of child marriages in the world; 75 percent of girls are married before the age eighteen and many are subjected to a life of domestic and sexual slavery.  In Niger the  problem is not just the fact that there are child brides but that some of these brides are in fact sold into slavery. ‘Wahaya’ is the term used for girls and women who are sold as fifth wives to men.   In Niger men are allowed to have four legal wives and any number of fifth wives.
For these girls and women who are bought as fifth wives, no marriage ceremony takes place and girls do not benefit from any of the legal rights and protection that legal wives have.  They are treated as domestic and sexual slaves but are still referred to as wives.  They are used for free labor  and sex by their masters who are mainly dignitaries or wealthy men.
The legal age for the marriage of a girl in Niger is fifteen years old but as the country struggles with severe drought, failing crops and mass starvation girls as young as seven years old are being sold as child brides.  Parents have told activists that although they are unhappy about selling their daughters to men, the food situation have left them with no alternative.  Families are using child marriage as a survival strategy  to deal with food insecurity.  Marrying off a daughter means one less mouth to feed and the dowry she brings in goes to feed the others.  Fertility rate is high in Niger with the average household  having at least seven children.
The practice of child marriage comes with serious consequences.  It impacts negatively on the health of young girls.  Having children at such a young age, they are at risk for fistulas (vaginal or anal rupture) which can lead to incontinence.  Girls with fistulas are often abandoned by their husbands and scorned by society.  The majority of child brides are denied an education. Only 15 percent of adult women in Niger are literate and less than one-third of girls are enrolled in schools.
For places like Niger change will only come when families understand that educating their daughters instead of marrying them off will be more beneficial in bringing economic growth to this starving nation.  In a 2001 study UNICEF found that women with seven or more years of education marry an average four years later and have 2.2 fewer children than those with no education.
United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) wants the age of marriage to be changed to eighteen years .  It says this would give the girls longer time in school and give their bodies time to develop and allow them to reach adulthood.  This move will also help to curb the birth rate which is the highest in the world.

Stop Abuse of Women

Bangladesh Child Brides

Although child marriages is illegal there is an increase in the practice in some developing countries.  Bangladesh for instance has the fourth highest rates of child marriages in the world.  Young girls are married by the time they hit puberty and usually move in with their husbands right away.

Most child brides become mothers while they are still children themselves.  Because their bodies are not yet fully developed they are at risk for prolonged or obstructed labor which threatens both the life of the child and the mother.  

Like India one of the main reasons behind child marriages in Bangladesh is poverty and girls from poor families are more likely to become child brides.  The illegal dory system is also a contributor.  Younger brides often require smaller dowries so parents marry off their girls at a young to avoid paying a high dowry which most of them cannot afford.  

These girls are denied a proper education.  They suffer from poor health, give birth to children who are weak and malnourished and raise them in poverty.  Later on some of these same mothers will force their daughters into early marriage and the vicious cycle continues.

Some parents marry off their daughters because they feel they will be safe under the protection of their husbands.  However in many instances these girls are abused by their husbands, sexually,physically, and emotionally.  They also suffer at the hands of their in-laws.

 Rani is a child bride.  She was married at the age of fourteen to the man her mother arranged for her to marry.  “I could not go against my mother’s will,” Rani said.  “So I agreed to marry him without thinking of other options.”

 Rani was constantly beaten by her in-laws and husband . “They beat me for trivial matters,” says Rani.  ” If they think the dress I washed is not clean or the food I cooked is not tasty, they beat me.”

 “He beats me not only with his hands but he uses his belt to beat me,” she says of her husband.  ‘He used to say, “No matter how much you cry or ask for help from others, I will not stop beating you.”

Rani has attempted suicide.  She said, “Once I was so tired of his beatings. I felt so desperate.  I couldn’t take it anymore, I wanted to give away my life.  I tried to commit suicide by hanging myself.”  According to Rani her in-laws were actually pleased when they learned she was going to hang herself.  “I went inside my room and was preparing to hang myself. I screamed, ‘I am going to take away my life!’  My mother-in-law and my husband were relaxing outside the room,” Rani said. “They were listening to what I was saying but they did not try to save me, as I was a burden to them.”

The neighbors informed Rani’s mother about what was taking place.“Then my brother kicked open the door,” Rani says. “At that time, I had already hanged myself. My mother lost her senses when she saw me hanging from a rope. My brother took me on his lap and got me down from the rope. Then my brother took me to the hospital.”

It has been reported that 51 young brides in Bangladesh committed suicide due to mistreatment by their parents-in-law in just one month in 2004.

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Stop Abuse of Women

Child Brides in Afghanistan

I don’t know how many of you might have heard the story of Sahar  Gul, a young Afghanistan girl.  She was forced into marriage at a young age of thirteen in 2011.  Sahar Gul who was unwilling to sleep with her husband was drugged by her mother-in-law and later raped by her husband.  She was thrown into a basement and tortured for months at the hand of her in-laws after refusing to prostitute herself.
Sahar was given very little to eat and was tortured with hot pokers.  Her in-laws reportedly broke her fingers and tore out some of her fingernails.  She was beaten with sticks, bitten and hot irons were inserted in her ears and vagina.
She was rescued when her uncle alerted the local police who forced open the door to the room where she was kept for over five months.  She was found lying on a pile of hay; her dress was in rags, she was barely conscious and could hardly stand.  She was taken to hospital for treatment.
Her mother-in-law, father-in-law and sister-in-law were arrested.  In 2012 all three were sentenced to ten years in prison.  Sahar feels they should have received longer sentences.  She has filed an appeal for a longer sentence with the help of the Women for Afghan Women, a group that works with women’s rights in the country and has been caring for her since her rescue.
Her husband, a soldier in the Afghan National Army is still on the run.