Category: Domestic violence

Is Crime Against Women Increasing or Just Being Exposed More?

The numerous deaths of women due to domestic violence raises the question, “Are our men becoming more violent?” According to a new release by the United Nations Office on Drug and crime, 137 women worldwide are killed by partners or family members each day. Now that is alarming.

Not every case makes it to the news. In recent times there was the disappearance of Andreen McDonald in Texas. After months of futile search her remains was discovered and her husband arrested and charged with murder. We have the case of Jennifer Dulos, a mother of five from Connecticut who went missing back in May. To date her body has not been found. The most recent one that made the news was that Florida mom who went missing. Her body along with the bodies of her four children were found and her husband charged with murder.

The most horrendous story yet was that of Chris Watts, who murdered his pregnant wife and their two other children. He confessed that after his daughter Bella watched him smother her sister to death, said to him, ‘Please, Daddy, don’t do to me what you just did to CeCe.’ ” He killed her anyway. A young child pleads for her life and you still kill her. Where is the moral compass? Do men like Chris Watts deserve to live?

Domestic violence needs the attention of everyone in society. Talk about in the schools, in the workplaces, in the churches, In the prisons, in the social clubs. Talk to you brother, talk to your sister, if you know he or she is an abuser or is being abused. We must break this vicious cycle. Even if it’s uncomfortable, let’s start the conversation.

Relationships

He loves me

“I love you,” he said last night

as he held me tight.

His words were like magic to my ears.

Today he came home angry

and his fist almost sent me

flying down the stair.

“I am leaving,” I screamed

“You wouldn’t dare,” he said.

“If you do I’ll find you and kill you.”

I stared at him trying hard to understand

How this sweet loving man can sometimes

change on me like a chameleon.

He doesn’t mean it you know

After all he loves me!

ps. Often times women find themselves caught up in these situation. Take any threat on your life serious. If he says he will kill you, don’t convince yourself that he won’t. Seek help. Get out. Save yourself.

Relationships

How can I tell if he is Grooming me for Abuse

In many abusive relationships the abuse doesn’t start right away. In fact when he is pursuing you he may be so charming that you feel you have won a prize. It is when he gets comfortable with you and he believes he has you hooked that he begins to show his true colors.

If he begins to have problem with you having a relationship with your former friends and even relatives, he may not have your best interest at heart. Abusers love to have their victims isolated. That way when the abuse begins, you have no one to turn to.

If he hits you and tell you he is sorry and it won’t happen again, don’t believe him. If he could not control his temper in that instance, what is to stop him from losing control again. Each time you forgive him, you give him more power over you and sad reality is that he is grooming you to accept abuse in the relationship.

Raising Awareness

In today’s society the emphasis is often on getting a good education. We teach our children that this is important. You got to do well in high school; you have to do well in college, we tell them. However ever so often we don’t tell them how to cope in a world where all is not what it seems to be. We don’t tell them what they should never accept in relationships.

They go out there all dewy eyed and innocent thinking that being in love is nothing short of paradise and they can dive in without even questioning how deep the water is. Let’s have the conversation. Talk to your children about domestic abuse. Let them know that love is not supposed to hurt.

Domestic Violence: Watch for Signs

No one can envision him or herself in an abusive relationship. Most people feel it can never happen to them. So when they see the signs they ignore them or make excuses. However domestic violence is too serious an issue not to pay attention to the signs.

One of the first signs that your partner may be abusive is if he or she wants to alienate you from your family and friends. An abusive partner wants to know that you have no one to turn to for help when the abuse starts and alienating you from the people you care about is the first step in achieving that go. Watch out for this sign!

Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is nasty, it is ugly and ever so often children become victims. It is sad when the lives of children are cut short because they are dragged into situations that have nothing to do with them.

Earlier this month another angel went home. A three year old girl was burnt alive in a car with the doors chained shut, in Queens. According to reports both parents were in a custody battle. Against the mother’s wishes the court granted the father a weekend visit with the child. It is reported that he told the mother, “You will never see your daughter again.” She however did not think he would have hurt the child. In what was apparently intended as a murder suicide, at the last minute he got out of the car and left his daughter to perish.

There has to be another way to resolve problems in relationships. This type of violence and vindictiveness has to stop. No one owns anyone. If a relationship is not working out it is best to walk away, go separate ways. Inflicting pain is never the answer.