Tag: Family (biology)

Say NO to Physical Abuse

Warning Signs That Your Man Could be an Abuser

Violent Temper and Sudden Mood Changes

If your man display violent behavior and has problems controlling his temper when dealing with others, pay attention.  If he was abusive in a previous relationship, this is a warning sign that you should not ignore.  You must also note that when he hits you he may try to make light of the situation.  A friend of mine once  came to me complaining that his girlfriend had left him.  I of course asked him why.  He said they had gotten into and argument and he accidentally hit her.

As the saying goes there are two sides to every story.  His girlfriend who was also a friend of mine told me what really happened.  She had gone to a work related function and was late in returning home.  He had come in search of her and met her on her way back home.  Without any provocation, perhaps just being angry by the fact that she was late, he punched her.  The blow left her unconscious and regained consciousness in the hospital.  She left him.  He could have killed her.  She said she wasn’t going back because the next time she might not that lucky. She never took him back, and who could blame her?  Yet this is the mistake many women make, going back to their partners after being physically abused by them.

If he is loving and charming when people are around then becomes hostile and abusive when you are alone, do not ignore the changes in his behavior.  Abusive men pick the time and place to  carry out their abuse.  They are often very charming when others are around to observe them, but become a different person behind closed doors.  Some abusers seem to have split personality.  In public they have this desire to be seen as Mr. Nice guy and it is this nice guy attitude which might charm a woman into falling for him.  However when you are alone with him behind closed doors and you see his true character emerging, do not hesitate or second guess your self; end the relationship.  The longer you remain the more difficult it will be for you to extricate yourself.

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Say NO to Physical Abuse

Recognizing Warning Signs That Your Man Could be an Abuser

Women are often trapped in abusive relationships because they did not recognize or chose to ignore the warning signs.  Since it is often difficult to get out of these relationships it is very important for you to be aware of the negative behavior of your partner and end the relationship before he gets too much control over your life.

One of the first thing an abuser will try to is to control you.  He will try to make you abandon your family and friends for him.  He needs to get the feeling that he is number one in your life; that he means more to you than anyone else.  I recall a conversation I had with a friend of mine  (who we shall call Sharon) very abusive boyfriend.  Her family was upset about the way he was physically abusing her and was adamant that she should leave him.  I remember him saying to me ”Sharon isn’t going to leave me, she loves me.  She don’t care about her family.  She will do anything I tell her to do so they are just wasting their time.”  I recall him being very smug about it, so very sure of himself.

This is one of the first signs that you should learn to recognize.  If your partner is trying to separate you from your family and friends, pay close attention and ask yourself, why is he doing this?  It could be a situation of divide and conquer.  He could be setting the stage for abuse and by controlling you and alienating you from those who care about you, when the abuse begins you will have no one to turn to for help.  The first step therefore to not set yourself up for an abusive relationship is to make sure the relationship you have with your family and friends remain intact.

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