Tag: Children Youth and Family

Say No to Molestation of Children

My blog post today was prompted by a question asked by a friend on Facebook.  The question was if a family member molested your child and you got angry every time you saw them, what would you do, keep the family secret, approach them and let them know you know about it or get them arrested.

My first thought was that was a simple answer, if someone molested my child I would immediately have that person arrested family member or not, but then it dawned on me that it is not that simple for everyone.  Families often keep secrets so that the family honor is upheld.  A case of a child who is molested or raped by a family member may go unreported so as not to bring shame on the family.  While the family member is protected who looks out for the child?  The child is the victim in this situation.  The child is the one who will have to live with the physical and emotional trauma and often will remain emotionally scarred for life.

When these things happen and you keep silent you are giving the perpetrator power and is inadvertently aiding and abetting him or her.  How do you think the child will feel knowing that you knew what was happening but did nothing about it because it was more important to keep the family secret.  The child’s welfare must be the number one priority in situations like this and anyone one who molest a child must be held accountable.

It is the responsibility of adults to protect children and often times it is these people who they trust that molest them.  We are living in a cruel world and often times it is the children who suffer the most because they are defenseless and are not able to do anything about what is happening to them.  In order to protect children parents who are aware that their children are molested and do nothing about it must be held accountable along with the perpetrator.  Let us protect our children. They have the right to enjoy their childhood years free from molestation.

Stop Abuse of Women

Bangladesh Child Brides

Although child marriages is illegal there is an increase in the practice in some developing countries.  Bangladesh for instance has the fourth highest rates of child marriages in the world.  Young girls are married by the time they hit puberty and usually move in with their husbands right away.

Most child brides become mothers while they are still children themselves.  Because their bodies are not yet fully developed they are at risk for prolonged or obstructed labor which threatens both the life of the child and the mother.  

Like India one of the main reasons behind child marriages in Bangladesh is poverty and girls from poor families are more likely to become child brides.  The illegal dory system is also a contributor.  Younger brides often require smaller dowries so parents marry off their girls at a young to avoid paying a high dowry which most of them cannot afford.  

These girls are denied a proper education.  They suffer from poor health, give birth to children who are weak and malnourished and raise them in poverty.  Later on some of these same mothers will force their daughters into early marriage and the vicious cycle continues.

Some parents marry off their daughters because they feel they will be safe under the protection of their husbands.  However in many instances these girls are abused by their husbands, sexually,physically, and emotionally.  They also suffer at the hands of their in-laws.

 Rani is a child bride.  She was married at the age of fourteen to the man her mother arranged for her to marry.  “I could not go against my mother’s will,” Rani said.  “So I agreed to marry him without thinking of other options.”

 Rani was constantly beaten by her in-laws and husband . “They beat me for trivial matters,” says Rani.  ” If they think the dress I washed is not clean or the food I cooked is not tasty, they beat me.”

 “He beats me not only with his hands but he uses his belt to beat me,” she says of her husband.  ‘He used to say, “No matter how much you cry or ask for help from others, I will not stop beating you.”

Rani has attempted suicide.  She said, “Once I was so tired of his beatings. I felt so desperate.  I couldn’t take it anymore, I wanted to give away my life.  I tried to commit suicide by hanging myself.”  According to Rani her in-laws were actually pleased when they learned she was going to hang herself.  “I went inside my room and was preparing to hang myself. I screamed, ‘I am going to take away my life!’  My mother-in-law and my husband were relaxing outside the room,” Rani said. “They were listening to what I was saying but they did not try to save me, as I was a burden to them.”

The neighbors informed Rani’s mother about what was taking place.“Then my brother kicked open the door,” Rani says. “At that time, I had already hanged myself. My mother lost her senses when she saw me hanging from a rope. My brother took me on his lap and got me down from the rope. Then my brother took me to the hospital.”

It has been reported that 51 young brides in Bangladesh committed suicide due to mistreatment by their parents-in-law in just one month in 2004.

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PARENTING

Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

 

 

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

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Parenting


Teaching Children Values

So much is going on in the world today. So much has changed and our societies in many instances have become much more violent. Our children are being exposed to a  lot of negative influences; on the internet, on the streets, in our schools and even in our homes.
It is our jobs as parents to raise our children to be decent upstanding citizens. This is not an easy task. It is imperative that we teach our children values. They need to understand that they are important; that their existence is no accident, they are here for a reason.
One of the most important thing we need to teach our children is to have self-respect. They also need to have respect for the lives of other people. Too many of our young people are committing crimes and taking the lives of others. They need to understand from an early age, that life is important and that it is wrong to take the life of another.

Respect for other people’s property. Sometimes little things like stealing begins from an early age. The child brings home a book or a pencil or a crayon that belongs to someone else from his or her kindergarten class; the parents see nothing wrong with the child keeping it. That is telling the child that it is okay to take something that is not his or hers and that is stealing.

We need to teach children to set high standards for themselves, to set goals and work towards them. To be always mindful of who they are. To stand up for what they believe in and more importantly to believe in themselves even if others don’t.