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Is it possible to stop loving someone you once truly loved?

The topic I am writing on today is up for debate and I am sure many of my readers views might be different from mine.   Some people believe that if you love someone you will continue to love that person no matter what and if you stop loving that person it means that you never truly loved them in the first place. The problem I have with this scenario is that it seems a bit one-sided.  The first question that comes to mind is what if that person you love don’t love you as much as you love him or her.  Even then that is not the real issue; what if the one you that love is constantly abusing you, physically and emotionally?  Isn’t there a possibility that at some point in time you might stop loving that person?  Some people will contend that you should still love the person but not the behavior but seriously how are you going to separate the two?

Love is an emotion and emotions do not necessarily remain constant except in a fairy tale world.  People and situations change and while in some cases couples are able to remain in love for a life time in a lot of other cases relationships just fail to work out.  That does not necessarily mean they did not love each other initially.  As we grow older we evolve and our needs change and if both parties are not in touch with each other needs the relationship can disintegrate.  There are times when dreams, hopes and expectations do not materialize and couples become disillusioned and bitter and blame each other, this  can destroy a relationship.

There is a high rate of divorce and many relationships fall apart over time but this does not mean that people might not have felt what they thought was true love for each other at some point in the relationship.  If a relationship doesn’t work out does that mean that both parties never truly loved each other?  What do you think?




  1. You need to be hugged first for bringing up this topic…
    Sometimes one has to let go.. loving somoeone means you are ready to let go.. It is so twisted, I wish to love and pleasure my partner.. Sometimes, when you aint getting any care, compliments inreturn, you burn out… yes you still loving, but then you got no strength to carry on,, that is when you fall sick.. sick for loving and not getting it back.. Lets take an example from nature.. (plants) if you do not nuture it, water it, it is going to die..


  2. wonkywizard says:

    I think you are writing about conditional or non conditional love; sane or saint in context. However, parents are saints, children behave more sanely.Every conditional things change, and, if love is conditional due to change in relationship, how to expect it not to change. What is love then? Is it mutuality exchange? inter-dependent?


  3. The key I think is where you said …love is an emotion ..and yes therefore not constant. Love your site!


  4. jademwong says:

    A great topic to ponder about. And for me, I don’t think it’s possible to ever truly let go of someone that you love, because in order to love someone, that person must mean so much to you. When someone is so deep in your heart, it’s so hard to push them out sigh.

    P.S. thank you for liking a post on my blog. Much appreciated!


  5. pbus1 says:

    I do believe that one can be deeply in love with an individual, and at some point fall out of love with that person. I am also making a distinction between being in love with an individual at one time, and no longer feeling that way, but still being able to love that individual as a person. So, I do agree with what you have posted here. May the Lord bless you! 🙂



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