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Say NO to Physical Abuse

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He hits you and then says he is sorry.  Another sign  that he is an Abuser!

The first time he hits you or hurt you in any way physically give yourself a reality check.  You need to ask yourself if he loses his temper or get angry for whatever reason does this mean he is going to lash out at you?

After he hits you he may be full of remorse.  He will apologize, tell you how sorry he is and that it will never happen again.  When he hits you the second time, you would have known by this time that he lied and  that it is likely to happen again.

Do not allow yourself to be fooled by his profuse apologies.  Some abusers can be very emotional.  Do not be surprised if he cries and begs you to forgive him.  He will beg for your forgiveness and try to convince you that it will never happen again.  However the abuse will continue unless you remove yourself from the situation.

I recall a friend of mine leaving her abusive boyfriend after he had beaten her badly.  He was very upset about the fact that she had left and went on a mission trying to find her.  I went with him because I wanted to be there for her in case he found her and decided to get nasty.  After visiting two of her relatives home and not finding her he became very emotional and broke down crying.  He said he didn’t know what he would do if she left him for good.  He said he really loved her and he was willing to do anything she asked him to, even go to therapy.  I asked him “If you love her so much why do you keep beating her?  His response was “I don’t know but I promise if she comes back I will never hit her again.”

I remember watching the tears rolling down his cheek and thinking that if I didn’t know better I would almost feel sorry for him.  I was not fooled by his tears.  As it turned out she was staying at a third relative we went that day but he never saw her.  I had a feeling she was there so the minute he parked I ran ahead of him to the house.  When I saw her I could only manage four words, “He is coming hide!”   She did not hesitate but did as I told her.  My mission accomplished I then managed to convince him that she was not there

However a few weeks later he found he and somehow managed to convince her to give him another chance.  Of course the moment she went back to him all his promises of going to therapy and not hitting her again soon went out the window.  He kept abusing her until she decided she had had enough and finally left him for good.  Incidentally she was not the first person to suffer abuse at his hands.

 Do not be fooled my empty promises.  Do what is best for you and so NO to physical abuse.  Please bear in mind that the longer you remain in an abusive relationship the more difficult it is going to be for you to leave.  You have to get out the moment the abuse start! 

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8 Comments

  1. Lim says:

    They continue to forgive, thinking that love will change the abuser.

    Like

  2. Lindy Lee says:

    You know what you say is true & I do, too…

    Like

  3. Amy says:

    I often think these women need help build their self esteem.

    Like

  4. granonine says:

    My latest topic on my Friday counseling issues has been abuse of all types. Thanks for adding your voice.

    Like

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