How do I Know if he is Grooming me for Abuse?

Knowledge is Power

In many abusive relationships the abuse doesn’t start right away. In fact when he is pursuing you he may be so charming that you feel you have won a prize. It is when he gets comfortable with you and he believes he has you hooked that you may begin to see his true colors.

If he objects to you having a relationship with your former friends and even family members, he may not have your best interest at heart. Abusers love to have their victims isolated. That way when he begins to abuse you there is no one for you to turn to.

If he hits you, tells you he is sorry and it won’t happen again, do not believe him. If he couldn’t control his anger that time what’s to stop him from losing control again? Each time you forgive him you give him more power over you. Slowly over time he will groom you to accept abuse in the relationship.

Should You give up Your Independence

Times have changed. As women we have evolved. Gone are the days when women were expected to stay home, be good wives and bear children. Women are now go-getters forging the way and making strides in almost every area of society.

However we still have women who believe it is a man’s job to take care of them and make them happy. This is not a good idea. A relationship should never be about one person’s total dependence on another but rather about two people working together to create something great.

Dependence is one of the key factors that many women become trapped in unhappy and abusive relationships. Even if they have the will to leave, inability to finance themselves keep them trapped. Whether it is a marriage or a relationship maintain your independence. It will be one of the best decisions you have ever made

Women and Society

Society has one of the greatest influence on people and so many feel they need to do just about anything to fit in. Social media perhaps has the greatest impact on how women view themselves amd the image they project. Nowadays many women equate nakedness to sexiness. If you have to expose your body in order to feel attractive it says a lot about how you view yourself as an individual and more importantly as a woman. You are more than an object, you are so much more than just a sex symbol. Treat yourself like royalty.

If You Suffer From Depression Get Help

Yesterday I heard the heartrending story of a father who jumped in front of a moving train while holding his young daughter. He was instantly killed. Miraculously, the child survived and was able to crawl from under the train to good samaritans who took her to safety. The deceased man was said to be a good father, but he suffered from depression.

I cannot judge this man, clearly his thought process was not rational when he jumped. Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed about. In many cases medication can help. Do not keep it to yourself see a professional get help. You might not get a cure but you can get the help you need to live a normal and fulfilling life. Don’t suffer in silence. Get help.

Is Crime Against Women Increasing or Just Being Exposed More?

The numerous deaths of women due to domestic violence raises the question, “Are our men becoming more violent?” According to a new release by the United Nations Office on Drug and crime, 137 women worldwide are killed by partners or family members each day. Now that is alarming.

Not every case makes it to the news. In recent times there was the disappearance of Andreen McDonald in Texas. After months of futile search her remains was discovered and her husband arrested and charged with murder. We have the case of Jennifer Dulos, a mother of five from Connecticut who went missing back in May. To date her body has not been found. The most recent one that made the news was that Florida mom who went missing. Her body along with the bodies of her four children were found and her husband charged with murder.

The most horrendous story yet was that of Chris Watts, who murdered his pregnant wife and their two other children. He confessed that after his daughter Bella watched him smother her sister to death, said to him, ‘Please, Daddy, don’t do to me what you just did to CeCe.’ ” He killed her anyway. A young child pleads for her life and you still kill her. Where is the moral compass? Do men like Chris Watts deserve to live?

Domestic violence needs the attention of everyone in society. Talk about in the schools, in the workplaces, in the churches, In the prisons, in the social clubs. Talk to you brother, talk to your sister, if you know he or she is an abuser or is being abused. We must break this vicious cycle. Even if it’s uncomfortable, let’s start the conversation.

Is Social Media Making People Callous?

Earlier this week I hear the heartbreaking story of a teen who assaulted by a group of other teen and stabbed to death. He was was only sixteen years old. The reason for the stabbing was that he had walked another teen’s girlfriend home.

The worst part about this incident is, instead of trying to help many stood by and videotaped the incident. We have a generation who are more interested in getting an incident on video rather than helping someone in need of help. When did we become a society where all that matters is to get something on social media. If this is what the future hold, then the future looks bleak. It is so sad that this youngster lost his life in this manner.

Can we Bring Back the Good old days?

As I child I lived in a small community where people looked out for each other. Crime was almost non-existent. Neighbors helping neighbors. A neighbor cooking and giving dinner to another neighbor over the fence was a common occurrence. Most people farmed and they shared with each other. There was no need for anyone to go hungry.

You had a few who would try to reap people’s crops before they did, but it was never on a large scale. Teeth and tongue would meet at times but generally people got along. Every child had an Uncle and Aunt who wasn’t even blood relative. Adults protected children and children respected adults. Gone are those days. Is it too much to ask for a return of those good old days?

Don’t let Others Decide What’s Best for You

Stand up and take control

We live in a world where some people design the rules and others simply fall in line. Society put a lot of pressure on women and trying to live up to society’s norm can lead to unhappiness for a lot of women. An unmarried woman may find herself being asked, “When are you going to get married? When she finally does people start asking, “When are you going to have a baby? Because after all that’s what a woman is supposed to do.

If the marriage fail to produce a child, people are quick to point finger at the woman. “Oh she can’t have children or “Oh, she is barren. This is putting it mildly for women have been called mules for failing to produce children. In some cases it is not even her fault but rather the man, who is unable to impregnate her. However she gets the blame. I say to women, don’t be pressured by society’s’ norm. Live the life that makes you happy. Do what is best for you.