Malaysian Flight 370

When the families of the passengers and crews members of flight 370 bid their loved ones goodbye of that fateful day of March eight little did they know they would probably be seeing them for the last time. After three weeks hopes have dwindled into nothingness. There are so many unanswered questions and we are no where closer to the truth as to exactly what happened to the air plane which has seemingly vanished without a trace.

For the families of those on board they might never know exactly what happened but one thing is certain, something happened that will change their lives forever. Knowing what happened would help to bring closure yet at this point perhaps it is time to accept the fact that they may never be coming back and move forward. It is a hard pill to swallow but sometimes live throws you a knock out punch and you have to regroup, pick up the pieces and move on.

We can only try to imagine what the families are going through at this time. For them it is a time of sorrow, pain and loss and not knowing what happened will only make it harder to accept. Yet they will have to find the strength to accept the loss of their loved ones. In life we do not always get the answers we seek and this is one of those moments.

Sand and Stone

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: “TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.”

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one, who had been slapped, got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After the friend recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: “TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.”

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?”

The other friend replied: “When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

 

The Thigh Gap Obsession

Society in general and the media in particular have a profound impact on the way people live their lives. Some people depend entirely on others to dictate to them what is wrong and what is right. For example society try to impose on people the idea of what a right body type is. Where it involves people who lack confidence about the way they look or dislike the body they are in this may impact more seriously on them than others.

The thigh gap has gained popularity among young women some of whom perhaps lack confidence in their appearance. Some of these women are practically starving themselves so they get so thin that their thighs do not touch when they stand. This is the coveted thigh gap. Many anorexic looking images are floating around on the internet of those who have achieved the thigh gap. One can only hope that these women do not develop serious health issues.

It is unfortunate and sad that so many young women lack self-confidence and are so ready to conform to the views of others. I say to these women create your own reality and stop looking to others for validation. If someone’s idea of sexy is making herself so thin that she acquires a thigh gap, it does not have to be yours. Do not live your life based on the conviction of another person because what makes that person happy will not necessarily make you happy.

Happiness comes from within and you can embark on the journey for happiness by first loving yourself and the body you are in. Be mindful that no one is perfect; we all have flaws. Be aware also that we all have the ability to form our own judgement and make our own decisions. Stop relying on others to make those choices and decisions. God made us all unique so stop trying to be a duplicate of someone else and embrace your uniqueness.

Explosion in Harlem

Two buildings collapsed in Harlem on Wednesday after an explosion and fire. Authorities say there were reports of a gas leak shortly before the blast.

My heart goes out to those who lost loved ones in the explosion and buildings collapsing in Harlem on Wednesday.  To date seven are confirmed dead and many others are still missing. Many people have lost their homes in this tragic incident. I do hope the survivors will find the strength and the courage they need  to pick up the pieces and start  over.   

Is Bossy the Right B Word to Ban?

I find it rather interesting that there is now a campaign afoot to ban the word “Bossy” as a way of empowering young girls. Bossy is a word  used to describe a behavior that someone displays. Whether we like it or not there are bossy men and women in society and banning a word will not change this. It is almost like saying if we ban the word “Bully” there will be less bullies.

It is important that we be educated about the word “Bossy” and be able to recognize this kind of behavior so that the word is not used in the wrong context. The word is not the problem; the real issue is the circumstances in which use the word.

Bossy is a word that every girl needs to know. They should be able to recognize bossy behavior the moment they see it  displayed. In life they are going to encounter people who will try to push their opinions and ideals upon them. They need to be able to differentiate between a boss or a supervisor or other people in their lives who are reasonable from the ones who are just plain bossy.

For young girls and women in general it is of utmost importance to be able to recognize “Bossy” in relationships. When you know what bossy is and can spot it easily it will give you more power.   When a partner starts to  make every decision for  you, you will not get confused,  think it’s okay and  accept bossiness for love. When he tries to control every aspect of your daily life and tells you he is doing it out of concern and love for you, you are not blinded to the fact that this is him being bossy. Too often young girls and women get into relationships and are not aware that their partners are not only bossy but controlling. When they become aware it is often too late.

If we are serious about empowering young girls we must teach them the importance of having self-confidence and self-respect. Teach them to aim high, be ambitious and know their self-worth. Teach them that it is not what they are called but what they answer to that matters.

If we want to ban a word let it be the word that is used almost on a every day basis to put women down. It you believe when girls get into a fight on the playground they call each other “bossy” then you must be living on another planet in a different century. When school girls get into fights on the bus do you seriously think they call each other bossy? When females get into altercations in the street do you think they call each other bossy? When a man wants to put his woman down, do you think he calls her bossy?

When a girl, woman or man wants to make a female feel bad bossy is not the word they reach for. They use a word that cuts deep, a word that portrays that person as a low, worthless and despicable human being. The dictionary give various meaning to this word some of which are; the female of the dog, a lewd or immoral woman, something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant. If we really want to ban a word, a word that  put women down a word that does nothing to empower women, I say we save “bossy” and banBitch“.