How to Avoid Being Trapped in an Abusive Relationship

Signs to Watch For

Cases of domestic violence is up as many individuals find themselves quarantined with abusive partners. For many there is little they can do about it. There is a saying, “prevention is better than cure.” If we apply this to many life situations, we can avoid making serious mistakes.

Woman Crying

The most important way to prevent being trapped in an abusive relationship is knowing the signs to watch out for. A woman may say of a partner; he loses his temper sometime and tells me mean, hurtful things. He is controlling and jealous but he never hits me. His temper, jealousy and controlling ways are all warning signs you should not ignore. The mean hurtful things he tells you, is an indication that emotional abuse has already begun.

When it escalates to the point where he encourages you to cut off communication with your friends or make you choose between him and your family you need to run. Isolation is one of the biggest clue that he is grooming you for abuse. If you cut off ties with the ones closest to you, when the abuse begins, you will have no one to turn to. The longer you stay the more control you lose and the harder it is to leave. Know the signs. Look out for them, and take action to avoid unnecessary hurt and pain.

Say Their Names

Today is Mother’s Day. For many it’s a time of celebration, but for many black Mothers it is their 911. It is the day their hearts are filled with sadness for the lives of their children unjustly taken away. Let us in black community stand together in solidarity with the grieving mothers. Let their children’s death not be in vain. Today and every Mother’s Day, let us say their names.

Say Their Names

Amaud Aubrey (25)
Tamir Rice (12)
Oscar Grant (22)
Samuel David Mallard (19)
Antwon Rose (13)
Stephon Clark (22)
Sean Reed (21)
Ariane McCree (28)
Darius Tarver (23)
Kwame KK Jones (17)
De’von Bailey (19)
Christopher Whitfield (31)
Anthony Hill (26)
Jamarion Robinson (20) Shot 76 times
Gregory Hill Jr. (30)
JaQuavion Slaton (20)
Ryan Twyman (24)
Brandon Webber (20) Shot 20 times
Jimmy Atchison(21)
Willie McCoy (20) Shot 25 times
Emantic Fitzgerald Bradford (22)
Jemel Roberson (26)
DeAndre Ballard (23)
Robert Lawrence White (41)
Anthony Lamar Smith (24)
Ramarley Graham (18)
Wendell Allen (20)
Kendrec McDade (19)
Larry Jackson Jr. (32)
Jonathan Ferrell (24)
Jordan Baker (26)
Victor White (22)
Dontre Hamilton (31)
Eric Garner (43)
Jamee Johnson (22)
Michael Dean (28)
Miles Hall (23)
William Green   
Trayvon Martin (17)
Michael Brown (18)
Terrance Franklin (22)
Botham Jean (26)
Ezell Ford (25)
Dante Parker (36)
Kajieme Powell (25)
Laquan McDonald (17)
Akai Gurley (28)
Rumain Brisbon (34)
Jerame Reid (36)
Charly Keunang (43)
Tony Robinson (19)
Walter Scott (50)
Freddie Gray (25)
Brendon Glenn (29)
Samuel DuBose (43)
Christian Taylor (19)
Jamar Clark (24)
Mario Wood (26)
Quintonio LeGrier (19)
Gregory Gunn (58)
Akiel Denkins (24)
Alton Sterling (37)
Philando Castile (32)
Terrence Sterling (31)
Terrence Crutcher (40)
Jordon Edwards (15)
Stephon Clark (22) Shot 20 times
Danny Ray Thomas (34)
DeJuan Guillory (27)
Patrick Harmon (50)
Maurice Granton (24)
Julius Johnson (23)              

In a civilized society we cannot continue to make excuses for the deaths of unarmed black men. Every citizen has the right to life irrespective of skin color. Every mother deserves to experience joy on Mother’s Day.

International Women’s Day

Image result for international womens' day images

Throughout history women have had to fight and claw their way to get recognition in a male dominated world. This is not because women are not good enough, not educated, talented, or as hardworking as her male counterpart. However the stereotype that governs society dictates that she is the weaker sex and she is treated accordingly.

     This is of course nothing short of a joke, if we allow our conscious minds to meander down the path of the life of a woman. Can you imagine men dealing with monthly period, the discomfort, pain and mood swings that go along with it? Can you picture a man pregnant and walking around with another human life growing inside of him for nine months, experiencing the throes of labor and giving birth? Some men are so squeamish they would drop like a fly at the sight of blood. So let us be clear women are important and play a vital role in society not only as mother and a wife but as unique human beings.

Today let us celebrate the women of the world. Happy International Women’s Day!

Strong Black Woman

As Black History Month draws to a close I would like to pay tribute to all women of color. I wrote the poems some years back and I want to share it with you. To every black woman who has gone through life believing she is not good enough; just know that you are enough!

Strong Black Woman

They told her she couldn’t do it,                          Image result for image of beautiful black woman

But she proved them all wrong.

Poor, bare foot country girl

Wanting to be doctor?

“Must be crazy,” they told her.

But she knew she was sane,

A doctor she wanted to be,

And for that goal she did aim.


They looked in awe and wonder,

Said she made them proud.

Yet they didn’t think her good enough,

For they told her she couldn’t have him,

Asked if she had lost her mind,

Doctor or not he wouldn’t marry her,

Her family was too poor,

And she was just too black.


She pitied their ignorance,

Felt ashamed for their own

lack of self-esteem.

She knew what she wanted

She knew together they would make a good team.

So she married him,

and stupid people that they were,

They wondered did he really love her or did she cast a spell?


Still enslaved by mental slavery,

They find it hard to understand,

That it is not the color of your skin,

Or the family you are from,

That defines you as a man or a woman.



Divorce is Sometimes the Answer

Over the past months I have been following two stories of mothers who have gone missing. In March of the year Andreen McDonald of San Antonio, Texas went missing. Her husband was charged with tampering evidence. To date her body has not been found. Her six year old child will no doubt be asking when is mommy coming home.

The other case involves a woman from Connecticut. Jennifer Dulos, a mother of five went missing three weeks ago. Her estranged husband and his girlfriend were charged with tampering of evidence. The search continues for this missing mother.

There is little hope of finding these women alive. My message to these men and others with the same thought process is that no good can come with harming others. If you are in a marriage and it is not working out, walk away, get a divorce…life goes on. Don’t leave your children to suffer.

View’s About Women

From A Man’s Perspective

Recently I came across a Facebook video of a man sharing his views about the growing nudity displayed by women. He voiced his concern that woman are not taking pride in themselves any more and seem to think they have to walk around half-naked to catch the eyes of a man. He warns that they will attract attention but from the wrong men and that they should take more pride in themselves because a man can spot a good woman from a distance even if she is fully clothed.

I am noticing this growing trend of women wearing less and less and I feel sad that women feel they have to go to this level in order to feel attractive. Women please be reminded that respect begins with you.

Is Nakedness the New Norm?

Society has one of the greatest influence on people. Many feel that they need to do things they are sometimes not comfortable with in order to fit it. Social Media perhaps has the greatest impact on how women view themselves and the image they project.

It saddens me to see that so many women equates nakedness with attractiveness. If you feel you have to expose your body in order to feel attractive, it says a lot about how you view youself as an individual and more importantly as a woman.

You are more than just an object, so much more than a sex symbol. Take pride in the way you carry yourself and be cognizant of the fact that there is a difference between looking attractive and looking tacky.

Empower Girls and Women

One of the most important step in empowering women is educating girls. It is imperative that they are given the chance to receive a good education. In some countries across the world millions of girls are denied the chance of getting an education. Many are forced into child labor and child marriages where they endure a life of servitude. This impact negatively on the quality of life for the girls involved.


Girls who are denied an education become women who are ill-equipped for the job market. They are denied the chance of equal opportunity in the workplace and are more likely to live a life of poverty.

Parents Step Up

One of the things plaguing society today is poor parenting. Too many children are growing up without role models they can emulate. The weakness of our men in regard to being responsible and showing moral and mental strength have resulted in many single parent homes where raising the children is left solely on the women. Yes we have weak women too because we have single parent homes with fathers playing both roles. However overall the number of single female households way outnumber the men. This is a clear indication that as parents our women are way stronger than our men.

Too many men seem to suffer from the Georgie Porgie syndrome. It is all sweet and dandy in the relationship until a child come into the picture then like scared little boys they run away. Weak people are always seeking the easy way out of a situation and for many men and some women turning their backs on their responsibilities is the easy way.

Every child needs at least one strong parent. So if you are that strong parent in your child or children’s life be proud and do your best to raise them right. For all you struggling single mothers, stay strong. At times it will get rough but hold on. Children grow up and someday you will look back with pride on a job well done.  To all the weak men who are still running, grow up, be a man. A strong man or woman never turn their backs on their children. Only the weak ones do.