Women are often trapped in abusive relationships because they did not recognize or chose to ignore the warning signs. Since it is often difficult to get out of these relationships it is very important for you to be aware of the negative behavior of your partner and end the relationship before he gets too much control over your life.
One of the first thing an abuser will try to is to control you. He will try to make you abandon your family and friends for him. He needs to get the feeling that he is number one in your life; that he means more to you than anyone else. I recall a conversation I had with a friend of mine (who we shall call Sharon) very abusive boyfriend. Her family was upset about the way he was physically abusing her and was adamant that she should leave him. I remember him saying to me ”Sharon isn’t going to leave me, she loves me. She don’t care about her family. She will do anything I tell her to do so they are just wasting their time.” I recall him being very smug about it, so very sure of himself.
This is one of the first signs that you should learn to recognize. If your partner is trying to separate you from your family and friends, pay close attention and ask yourself, why is he doing this? It could be a situation of divide and conquer. He could be setting the stage for abuse and by controlling you and alienating you from those who care about you, when the abuse begins you will have no one to turn to for help. The first step therefore to not set yourself up for an abusive relationship is to make sure the relationship you have with your family and friends remain intact.
- 5 Early Warning Signs He’s Too Controlling (psychcentral.com)
- Saunders: Heed signs of potential abusers (newsobserver.com)